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Holly gives me an overly obvious wink. Ryan chuckles and gives my shoulders a squeeze.
She and Luke grab their things and leave, but not before Holly shoots me one last thumbs up.
After the door shuts behind them, the room seems too small. The latest episode of a new Netflix series murmurs in the background while I stare straight ahead, pretending to watch, nervous and jumpy.
"I should probably head up too," Ryan says, beginning to disengage my arms from his body.
"You're leaving?" I squeak, confused, shooting up from the couch.
"Do you want me to stay?" Ryan asks with a grin. "I would like to stay, but I don't expect anything, and you seem nervous."
"That's because I am nervous, Ryan."
"Why?" he chuckles, toying with a piece of hair that's fallen forward onto my cheek. "If I recall correctly, we were pretty good at this sort of thing."
I laugh, but it comes out strangled and slightly deranged.
"Yes, but what if I'm not what you remember?" I sigh, hating that I sound so insecure. "You've been in LA for almost seven years, where millions of gorgeous women live, who likely know how to bend into pretzels. You've probably been with dozens of women more sophisticated than I am, who are pampered, plucked, and god knows what else."
My voice starts to rise as I continue to panic. My insecurities have obliterated the dam on my filter.
"Did you know that you can get a facial for your vagina in Los Angeles? What does that even do? My vagina has never had a facial, Ryan. In the last seven years, the only thing my vagina has seen is my hand and battery-operated toys. I can't compete with models, actresses and contortionists."
Before I know what he's doing, Ryan is kissing me. Hard. He pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around my waist. He grinds his hard-on into my stomach, making me flush as warmth flood my panties.
His tongue does dizzying things to my mouth as I try to match his enthusiasm. My hands tangle in his hair, and I try to pull him even closer.
Suddenly, he pulls back, and I moan in frustration.
"Em, I don't care about any of those girls. The only woman I have ever wanted is you," Ryan says, hesitating as if embarrassed for a moment. "I never dated when I was in LA, and Tyra and I were a couple for appearances only. My teammates called me a 'Monk' for a reason. Were there beautiful women? Yes. Did they throw themselves at me? Yes. But all I could think of was you.
"No matter how much time passed, all I wanted was you. You're the only woman I have ever been with and the only woman I want to be with."
I stop and stare at Ryan, feeling like my heart might explode from my chest. It's almost unbelievable, but I know Ryan, and he would never lie to me about something like this. There would be no point. We weren't together. He had every right to do as he pleased. But I can't help the thrill pumping through my veins at the thought of him belonging only to me.
"I tried," he continues, running a hand roughly through his thick hair. "Every time one of your brothers would tell me about one of the douchebags you dated, I wanted to fly home and tear their throats out. I wanted to go out and find some random, desperate girl who wanted me, but I just couldn't do it."
Ryan's admission makes guilt flood my system.
"I never slept with any of those idiots," I blurt out and sigh, "I only dated them to prove to everyone I was over you. But it was all a lie. I didn't fool anyone, especially not myself. You're the only man I've ever been with."
"Good," Ryan states proudly, puffing out his chest like a peacock. He kisses me again, pulling me close. I run my hands over his hard stomach until I reach the waistband of his jeans. I lift his t-shirt and use my fingers to re-memorize the skin covering his stomach and abs. Ryan sucks in a breath when I reach the light smattering of dark chest hair and scratch my nails downward. He catches my wrists tight in his grasp before I can take my exploration any further.
"For the record," he smiles, quirking an eyebrow. "The only person who'll be giving your pussy a facial is me."
I burst out laughing, feeling light and happy. This is what I've missed. I've missed the sex, but more than anything else, I've missed the laughter, tender looks, quips, and jokes. I've missed making love to my best friend.
I go quiet and serious for a moment, looking up into his smiling face. I place my hands on either side of his strong jaw, running my fingers and thumbs over the panes of the face I've always loved.
"Ryan," I whisper, placing a light, closed-mouth kiss on his lips. "I'm going to say this in the most polite way possible. Please, take me to bed and fuck me.”
12?
Tête à Têtes and Threats
Avery
Idon't have to ask twice. Ryan scoops me up in his arms, carrying me to my bedroom, kissing me roughly along the way. I laugh when he drops me on my bed, pulling him down with me.
