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Mom never remarried, but I hope that maybe one day she'll find someone at least half as great as my dad to fill the void he left. She insists she is happy and brags she has me, and now Em. She says we're more than enough and that if I truly want her to be happy, I can supply her with a passel of grandbabies to spoil before I'm thirty.
I chuckle every time she mentions grandkids. Em used to laugh too, but this summer she stopped. Last week, when Mom made a joke, she cried but wouldn't tell me why. When my mom apologized for the joke, Em cried harder. She made excuses about being under pressure because she's leaving for school and everything is changing, but she's been avoiding me ever since.
I hope the diamond engagement ring in my pocket will ease some of her worries. Mom thought me being in Montreal and Em being at university, over six hours away, has her worried we'll break up.
Em's not wrong. Things are changing. I signed my first big entry-level NHL contract at the start of the summer, and the first thing I bought was a ring. I asked Holly to help me choose. She knows Em best. Those two are like sisters. It took me two weeks to find the perfect one and customize it. I wanted something classy, yet understated. Em doesn't wear much jewelry and she's not the type of girl who wants the biggest diamond in the store. Holly and I agreed on a white gold braided band with eight diamonds woven into it. I wanted something subtle yet personal. Something that lets her know I love her and that she'll always be my girl.
My hands twitch restlessly at my sides. Nerves are starting to kick in, not because I think she’ll turn me down, but because I want this to be perfect.
I planned this proposal weeks ago. She’s meeting me at our favourite spot by the lake— a footbridge where we've shared dozens of kisses. The long summer days make the evenings perfect for a sunset stroll. When we first started dating, we would sneak out of the house and head to the waterfront. Our town used to have an old railroad. The track was changed into a nature trail that runs around the lake and all over the county. It's the perfect spot.
Em and I must have walked parts of the trail hundreds of times. I remember our first official date. I was deliriously happy and terrified I would fuck it up. Then, everything went wrong. It started to rain. I had forgotten the umbrella in the car. I had this grand plan for a romantic picnic for two, but by the time we made it back to my beat-up Jeep, we were soaked and the food was ruined.
Em took one look at me, dark hair plastered to my face, mud splattered on my jeans from running, and she started to laugh. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. She has the best laugh. It's loud and real, unabashed and natural. Her laugh is contagious. I started laughing too, and before I knew it, we were kissing. It was a hot mess, and it was perfection.
I look at my watch. Em should be here any minute. I wanted to pick her up, take her to dinner and then drive her down to the waterfront, but she insisted on meeting me here. She's been busy packing for school, and I didn't want to add to her stress.
"Ryan."
I immediately smile when I see Em. She's wearing her favourite pair of dark skinny jeans with rips in the knees, a plain white tank, and flip-flops. I swear if she could, Em would wear flip-flops every single day of the year.
Her hair is down, falling past her shoulders. It's super blonde from all of the time she and Holly spend in the sun. Her skin is bronze, and she looks like a goddess. I probably look like a grinning idiot, but I can help myself. Every time I see her, my chest expands, all my senses become sharper, and I can't believe she's mine.
"Hey," I breathe, rocking back on my heels. I lean in and kiss her quickly on the lips. She wears this strawberry lip gloss that makes me want to eat it off her lips. It makes me crazy. "You look beautiful."
She blushes and smiles, but it doesn't quite meet her eyes, and I wonder if something is wrong.
"You okay?"
"Yes. Yep," she lies, glancing away. "Just stressed." It's always "stress."
Em's been strung like a bow for three months. She keeps telling me it's school, but I can't help but feel there's more. She and Holly were bouncing off the walls about heading off to university, then suddenly she got "stressed" about it all.
"It will be okay. You'll be awesome, Em. You're super smart. Way smarter than me, Ollie, and Ozzy put together. Plus, Holly will be there for you." I tip her chin up and brush a soft kiss over her lips.
"If anyone should be worried, it's me," I joke. "I don't want to jump on a plane to rearrange some jerk's face for hitting on my girl."
"Oh yeah right," Em laughs. "You'll be chased down by swarms of puck bunnies asking for autographs on their boobs and carrying signs begging you to bang them."
I know it's a joke, but I want Em to know she's it for me. I don't care about any other girl.
"You know that's not true." Em shoots me a look of disbelief. "Okay, it might be true, but I don't care about those girls. They're not you, Em. You're it. I love you."
I was planning on waiting a little longer until the sun was setting a little further down the horizon, but it's now or never. We're on our bridge that crosses a creek and feeds into the lake. There are baskets of pink and white flowers hanging off the lamp posts, a light breeze, and a few couples and families walking dogs on either side of the bridge, but for the most part, it's just us.
I stop, taking each of Em's hands in mine. They're perfect. We fit. We always have. When I look at her, I see everything I've ever wanted, but she still looks sad for some reason. I think she's about to cry.
"Hey," I say lightly. "Look at me, Em. I love you. I've always loved you, and me going to Montreal to play hockey or you going to school in London isn't going to change that. Nothing will ever change that."
I brush a tear from her cheek, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"I was so scared the first time I kissed you. I couldn't figure out if you would punch me in the face or kiss me back. And then, you did kiss me back, and I couldn't quite believe my luck. Your brothers ended up punching me anyway, but it was worth it. You'll always be worth it.
"Every time I look at you, I know. You're the one, Em. You're my best friend. We're meant to be together. I can see it so clearly. You'll finish school and be amazing at whatever career you choose, and I'll play hockey. I may be on the road, but I'll always know my home is wherever you are. You're my home. We'll grow old together. Years from now, we'll have a daughter with your caramel eyes and sass and my stubbornness. We'll have a son as smart as you because we both know who has the brains in this relationship."
Em's hands are shaking as I get down on one knee and pull the velvet box from my pocket. I smile, cracking it open, taking the ring and slipping it on the fourth finger on the left. It's a perfect fit.
"Emerson Avery, I love you. I will always love you. I know we're young, but I can wait until you're ready. We both know my heart always has, and always will, belong to you. I want to take care of you. And you can take care of me after I retire and my teeth get knocked out on the ice. I want to love you, argue with you, laugh with you, and cry with you. I want a life with you. Will you marry me and let me show you how much I love you every day for the rest of our lives?"
