Page 8 of Sweet Pucker


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Avery: Did they ask you to waive it?

Ozzy: They asked us for a list of teams we would consider moving to.

Ollie: We're making a list of five now.

Avery: You're gonna list Toronto, right?

Ozzy: Obviously, little sissy. Gotta go. Our agent is calling.

Ollie: We’ll keep you in the loop.

I breathe a sigh of relief. There's no guarantee Ollie and Ozzie will be traded at all, but the fact they've been asked for a list of teams means it's likely this will be their last year with New York.

Based on the standings, Holly and I think New York, Arizona, Vancouver, San Jose, and Los Angeles will be sellers. Their teams are tanking. Every year, the league's bottom dwellers unload players whose contracts are up in the summer. Unless the player is likely to re-sign with the team, teams try their best to trade them away from assets, youth, and salary cap space.

Ollie and Ozzie are in the last year of their contract. It would make sense to trade them unless management knows they want to come back and re-sign. I've talked to Ollie and Ozzie at length about this scenario, and unless they're getting moved to the Northmen, they don't want to leave New York.

This summer, they’ll become unrestricted free agents, meaning they can sign with whatever team they want. I'm hoping they consider coming home. Other than Luke, the Northmen's defence could use some help.

"Management is working on a trade," Holly says, interrupting my thoughts. She plops down in her chair across from me and sets her phone on our desk.

"Who's going?"

"I don't know. That was Luke," she says, motioning to her phone. "Management got a call from a Western Conference team with a top player who's requested a trade, and Toronto wants him."

"What position? Do we know anything else, like who would be going back the other way?" I ask. My brain immediately starts filtering through players who might want a trade to a contender.

"Luke seems to think it's a high-scoring forward in the last year of his contract—a rental player."

Something turns over in my stomach, but I ignore it. There are at least eight different forwards on expiring contracts that it could be.

"Ollie and Ozzie were asked for a list of teams they'd consider being traded to," I say.

"Really? I guess that makes sense for the Diamonds, but I thought Ollie and Ozzy like life in New York."

"They love it, but between you and me, I think they're going to try and sign with Toronto in the off-season."

"That would be great," Holly squeals. "But I don't know if Toronto can make that work with the salary cap. Luke's deal is cap-friendly, but your brothers need to take a discount to sign in Toronto if management wants to keep the team together for another Cup run."

I shrug my shoulders. It's not my job to make the salary cap work. It's not like the good old days when teams could pay as much or as little as they wanted to their players. Gone are the days of stockpiling talent on one team who loads of cash to burn. With the cap, the NHL has created parity, which is why the playoffs are nuts every year. It's a total crapshoot.

Teams only have so many millions to pay their roster players, which means just because the Northmen have a shitload of money and are the richest team in the NHL, they can't overpay. Each team must be under the cap to be compliant.

I look up at the TV again and there's only been a few minor trades so far—no blockbusters yet. I glance up at the clock. It's only noon, and teams have until three o'clock to get all their ducks in a row.

I'm just about to go for another tea when the SportsCentre Trade Update alarm goes off, and Holly turns up the volume.

"We have a trade to announce," the host says. "The Boston Grizzlies have traded forward Thomas Simmons, defenceman Andy Sawyer, and a first and fourth-round pick to the Los Angeles Rebels for forward Erik Eriksson and defenceman Lou Palmer.

"By all accounts, it looks like the Grizzlies are loading up for a deep playoff run, and I'd say this confirms rumours that the Rebels are in rebuild mode. Sources around the Rebels say they aren't done dealing yet."

I look at Holly, who gives me a knowing look.

"It's not going to happen," I say unconvincingly.

"But what if it does?" Holly smiles. I hate when she smiles like that, all evil and knowing.

"It's not."

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