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"He visited my office the other day," I say, trying to appease her. Isn't the fucking stylist supposed to be here already?
"And?" Holly and Avery press on.
"And, we may have done a few things."
"Like?"
“Like… stuff!” I yell, throwing my arms in the air. Then my mouth runs away with itself like the water they just gave me is a truth serum. "I may have mentioned that I didn't think I could have an orgasm outside of the battery-operated variety because Derrick was never successful at getting me off, and Aaron called me an ice queen. So Chase took it upon himself to prove me wrong and started to undress me. I tried to stop him because I thought men didn't like going down on women, but apparently they really do. And when he started talking dirty to me and using his tongue in a way I didn't even know was possible, I all but detonated under his mouth. But he wouldn't let me return the favour or touch him, and now I'm confused because I thought all men liked blow jobs. Well, except for Derrick, because he thinks it's degrading toward women or some shit. I don't know. I'm just really confused. And now I feel guilty because I'm supposed to be dating Sam, too, and I don't know what to do."
Silence envelops the room as Holly and Avery stare at me, mouths open and flapping without words. I think I've shocked them into silence. There truly is a first for everything.
"There are so many things wrong with what you just said. I don't even know where to begin," Avery says, anger lacing her voice. "Actually, I do. Who is the lying bag of dicks you call Derrick?"
"He was my first boyfriend, and he's not a bad guy. He was really nice," I whisper. My voice gets quiet when Avery gets her angry-bitch-face on.
"Fuck nice! If he implied you couldn't come for any reason other than his lack of skill, he's a lying bag of dicks. If he wouldn't go down on you and told you men don't like eating at a vagina buffet once in a while, then he's an even bigger lying bag of dicks. Plus, there's always flavoured lube!"
"And what kind of a weirdo turns down a blow job?" Holly adds, looking truly confused. "From you? You're hot, Lily."
"I know, right?" Avery agrees. "If I had a dick, I'd let you suck it."
Sometimes I wonder how Avery and Holly's minds work.
"Derrick said giving head was degrading to women, and he didn't want to treat me like that."
"Bullshit! It's sucking cock, and if you want to do it, do it! Unless he was planning on porn-starring you until you gag, come on your face, and pull your hair while he chokes you, then it's not degrading."
"Um, no, thank you." I shudder. Avery has a point. When I think of sex, whether oral or whatever, I imagine sharing my body with someone while enjoying and sharing pleasure. I don't think of porn.
"And I know for a fact men like going down on women," Holly states plainly. I try and fail to stop her before she shares information about my brother that I have no desire to know. "Well, at least Luke does. I don't have anyone else to use as a point of reference, but Luke's really good at it, and he seems to like it. Quite a lot, actually."
"Please stop," I groan, covering my ears, but I look from Holly to Avery and ask them the question that's really bugging me. "But why won't Chase let me touch him? Every time I try, he grabs my wrists and stops me."
"Hmmm, maybe he's into being dominant," Avery suggests. "You know, likeFifty Shadestype shit?"
Holly looks at me like she wants to say something but stops when the stylist knocks.
"One minute," I yell, standing in front of the door. "Are you sure we have to do this? I feel like this isn't fair to Sam."
"Then make it fair," Avery says. "Give him a chance."
"And be honest with him," Holly suggests. "Tell him how you feel about Chase and see what he says."
Sighing and no less confused than before, I let Holly and Avery introduce me to Chantel Corteau, my stylist. I spend the next three hours trying on expensive clothing, make-up, shoes, and doing whatever else I'm told. Avery cracks open a bottle of wine, and as we drink I find myself fluctuating between horror, hope, happiness, and hopelessness.
10
Kicks for Kisses
Lily
The Blue & White Bachelorette Blog
Hey Everyone,
First, I wanted to thank you all for your encouragement over the last couple of weeks. I'm flattered you're all so interested in my love life, and I appreciate all your kind words. But, to the trolls who post nasty comments and rude messages, I suggest you unsubscribe and get a life.
Secondly, I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that my dates support two great causes: The Alzheimer Society of Canada and the Canadian Mental Health Association. These two charities can use all the help they can get, so if you can donate, no matter how large or small, please follow the links at the bottom of this page.
