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"And I felt so damned guilty. Derrick was so nice. He was patient and kind, and we were friends." Lily had said as much before, but hearing it again doesn't make it any easier.
"I waited up for you that night," I mumble more to myself than to her.
"What?"
"I waited up for you. I stared at the ceiling all night, waiting to hear the front door open and for you to come home. It made me crazy knowing he was touching you when I wanted to so badly. I hated myself because I knew I wasn't good enough for you and wanted you anyway."
"Why?" Lily asks, eyes wide. She places a hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at her.
"Why what?"
"Why do you think you're not good enough for me, Chase?"
"I've done things, Lily. Things that would make you sick."
"I don't care."
"I'm not a perfect gentleman like Derrick."
"I don't want you to be one. I've already had that, and it was wholly unsatisfying." Lily looks up at me and smiles like a vixen. "I've always been the good girl, and sometimes I think it would be just a little bit fun to be bad, daring, and reckless. To experience passion, pleasure, and intimacy all the same time. And I want that with you."
My entire body lights up, muscles straining, blood burning.
"Why me?" I question in disbelief. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that Lily wants me.
"Because I trust you," she says simply and shrugs. "You've always been one of my closest friends, and I don't think I'm the only one who feels this pulse beating between us. I've never experienced a connection like this with anyone but you. And even if you don't believe it, Chase, I know you're a good man."
I'm not.I want to tell her. I'm a man who lets women twice his age fuck him like a stud horse. Who's fucked women whenever and wherever they want it. I don't know what real intimacy looks like, and I don't know if I can be the man Lily sees. I don't want to hurt her. I'm scared shitless that I'm going to fuck this up like I've done so many times before.
But I want to try. I want to try to be that man she sees. The one Lily thinks is worthy of her.
I pull her up from my bed and draw her in towards me. She comes eagerly, throwing her arms around my neck and placing her body flush against mine. I want her. I want her so fucking badly I feel like my dick is going to bruise from straining against my jeans.
I tangle my fingers in her hair and pull lightly. Not hard enough to hurt but firm enough for her to notice the resistance. Her eyes flash, meeting mine.She's enjoying this.My body sings in approval as I slam my mouth down on hers to drink her in. Our tongues battle for control, mine plundering and her matching me stroke for stroke, causing fire to burn in my veins. My hips jerk forward of their own accord, my cock hard and heavy, pressing into Lily's core.
A moan tears out from her lips as she breaks our kiss, her hips grinding into me in answer to my thrusts.
"This is madness," she huffs, out of breath. "It's never been like this."
"Like what?" I grin at her.
"Like I want to combust and melt into you at the same time. Like I could come just from dry humping you." She lets out a soft laugh. "A few weeks ago, I wasn't even sure I could come during sex. But with you, I'm so overwhelmed with feeling, with pleasure, I can barely control myself. It's stimulation overload. Either I was doing sex all wrong, or you're a magician."
"I'm a magician," I joke, and Lily laughs again. It's a bright, tinkling sound that makes me feel ten times lighter. "And you weren't doing sex wrong, Lily. Your partner was."
"Derrick wasn't that bad." Lily's defence of him sets me on edge. "He just didn't know what he was doing. Neither of us did."
"He should have. We live in a world where answers can be found with a few clicks of a mouse. He should have watched a fucking YouTube video on how to pleasure a woman and made sure you were taken care of first. Every man, especially a so-called gentleman, should know the Golden Rule."
"And what's that?"
"Ladies first."
Lily bursts out laughing again, leaning back a little to look into my eyes. Her hands are still entwined around my neck, and I want them to stay there. As if she can read my thoughts, her fingers tangle into my hair as she draws patterns along my nape.
"See, Chase," she grins onto my lips, placing tiny kisses there before moving to my stubbled jaw, "you are a gentleman at heart."
I grunt in response as if to say,hardly.To make my point, I back Lily towards my bed, unhook her arms and push her down onto the sheets. She leans up on her elbows and crooks a finger at me, shooting me a come-hither stare.
