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"Men can't be raped," Chase scoffs, believing the words. "My dick was hard, and I came."
"You were a child who didn't fully understand what was happening. You were taken advantage of by an adult you should have been able to trust. You were raped, Chase. Just because your body performed a natural function and reaction doesn't change that fact."
Chase stares ahead as if trying to digest what I've said. As if he's trying to see his situation through my eyes. I can see the questions and unsureness on his face as his mind tries to work through everything.
"Think about it for a minute. If a man, at least twice my age, started touching me at fourteen and manipulated me into having sex with him, even if I thought I wanted it, what would you call it?"
Rage passes over Chase's face as he considers my words. I take his hands in mine and squeeze, praying he can feel how badly I want to help him work through this. It's not going to happen overnight, and he should definitely think about seeing a therapist, but he's one of the strongest men I've ever known.
"I'd call it rape." Chase swallows hard, his voice cracking on a whisper. Then, he looks at me, realization lighting his eyes. "Was I raped?"
I nod, tears filling my eyes. "You were, and you're a survivor, Chase. Disgust is the last thing I feel for you. More than anything else, I feel pride. I'm so proud of you because you've survived and endured more than anyone should have had to growing up, and you're still one of the best men I've ever known."
♥?
Chase
She's stunning. And fierce. And beautiful.
Dressed only in my shitty, old hoodie, Lily is the most fascinating creature I have ever seen.
She's a warrior. My warrior.
My soul is shredded and bare. I'm raw and confused, and yes, I'm still fucked up, but she looks past all my scars and still sees me. When everyone else sees broken pieces, she sees a puzzle and wants to put me back together. And I want her to. I want her to make me whole again because I am pretty sure she's the only one who can. She's my missing piece, and we just fit.
"Talk to me, Chase," Lily says, eyes blazing. Not with the disgust I was so sure I'd see, but with something else I can't name. Something that makes the weight of everything I've been carrying all these years seem lighter. "Tell me what I can do. I want to help you."
Lily pushes off the headboard and scoots down the bed to sit in front of me. I straighten so we are facing each other, cross-legged. From the moment we sat on this bed, I've been aware of how careful she is about where and when she touches me, always asking for permission with her eyes before her skin makes contact.
I don't want her to be hesitant or afraid of touching me. I want to want her touch because I trust her. I reach out to her and pull her into my lap, placing her legs loosely around my waist, and curl mine behind her. She lets me control the movements and follows my lead. My hands find hers, and I align our palms. Mine are so much bigger than her small ones, and her fingers are slim and delicate, whereas mine are rough and calloused from hockey. When I turn her hands over, I trace the lines of her palms, and she shivers at my simple touch. When my hands move to her wrists, I grip them before leading them up to cup my face.
I place her warm palms on my cheeks and lean into her touch, relishing the softness of her skin in contrast to the roughness of my jaw. Inhaling, I close my eyes, focussing on her coconutty scent, and remind myself this is Lily. I guide her hands to my chest and do my best not to tense at the touch.I'm in control. Lily's hands are controlled by mine, and she makes no movement without my guidance. We sit there for what seems like endless minutes, her hands flat against my chest, rising and falling with my breath and the staccato beat of my heart.
When I close my eyes and slowly draw her hands over, across, and down the muscles of my abdomen, I clench in response.
"Look at me, Chase," Lily whispers, and I open my eyes. There she is, hair down, curling around her shoulders, blue eyes bright with sincerity. It's the face I've memorized; each freckle on her nose, the stray one below her left brow, and the tiny birthmark under the right eye. "Keep looking at me. Don't look away, and don't close your eyes. This is me. I'd never hurt you. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."
I smile. Somehow, this small, firecracker of a woman wants to slay my demons to keep me safe, and even though I'm more than twice her size, I believe her. I've seen her protect her family and friends with fierce, unfaltering loyalty. She's a force to be reckoned with.
Slowly, I let go of her wrists, leaving her hands on my chest, never letting my eyes leave hers. I brush a curl away from her forehead, lean in, and kiss the birthmark I've admired for years. Lily shudders, and when she closes her eyes, I seize the opportunity to kiss her eyelids. My lips travel downward to find hers and I kiss her gently. Once. Twice. Three times. The entire time her hands stay still, one palm on each of my pecs, growing hotter with each passing second until I swear her handprints will be branded on my chest.
Finally, Lily moves, reaching her arms around my neck and pulling herself closer. My hands find her back, then the bottom edge of the hoodie she's wearing. Skin meets skin as I run my fingers along the perfect curve of her spine. Over and over, my fingers play a pattern over each vertebra until they find the twin indentations just above her ass and knead in.
Lily hums, tightening her legs around my waist, rocking into me. My cock is straining against my jeans, begging to be released. Heat simmers between us as I shuck off my shirt. Lily leans away, untangling from me before standing and pulling me with her. She doesn't break eye contact as she carefully takes my hands in hers before placing them on top of my jeans.
"Take them off, please," she asks and orders simultaneously. I do as she says, shedding my boxers along with them. I'm standing in front of Lily, completely naked in all ways, as she looks her fill. Her eyes move over every inch of my skin, pausing at the V of muscle leading down between my thighs to the hard length of my cock.
She's not shy about looking, and when she licks her lips, pulling the bottom one between her teeth like she always does when she's debating something, I chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Her eyes dart back up to mine, humour sparkling in them.
“You." I grin back. "You always chew your lip when you're unsure about something."
"So?"
"So," I say, moving to kiss the lip she was just worrying. "You were doing it just now. What's got you so worried?"
"Nothing." She pauses and then smiles. "Well, I'm not going to lie, and this will probably inflate your ego to an insufferable level, but you're bigger than my last boyfriend."
