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I'm a completely fucked-up mess inside, and I will never let myself stain Lily with my toxicity.
That night I attempt to sleep, trying not to listen for the front door letting me know Lily is home safe and not in some nerd's twin-sized bed. But the sound of her return never comes, and a sickening feeling washes through me. Somewhere deep down I know with bone-chilling clarity, Lily Valentine will be my undoing.
1
Eating Cake
Lily
Nine Months Ago
I've known Chase since I was four when he and my brother started playing on the same hockey team. At first he was just another boy hanging around the house, except he would share his Oreos with me when Luke would try to eat mine.
When I was ten, and he and Luke were thirteen, those feelings started to shift. He was the most beautiful and tragic boy I'd ever seen. After his mom died, Chase became quiet and reserved. It was a startling change for a boy who used to laugh as much as he breathed. I missed his laugh, so I'd made it my mission to be silly and goofy, hoping I could hear it again. It worked most of the time.
And therein lies the problem, I've always been Luke's goofy little sister, and that's all he's ever seen me as. I've been in love with him since forever, and it's all his fault. He made it impossible not to love him. He practically lived in my house growing up, and he's always been the kindest, funniest, most thoughtful boy I've ever met, except when he was being thoughtless.
Like when he would bring over girlfriends and kiss them in the front hall right in front of me, breaking my heart each time. Or when he left to play junior hockey and made headlines for all the wrong reasons. Chase turned into a destructive boy, and every time I read about the girls he was screwing around with, it made me want to scream.
I've always been too young, too sweet, and too much of Luke's sister for him. I could never compete with the women who greet players with open legs and breasts overflowing from their low-cut tops.
Maybe my expectations are unrealistic. Maybe I've deluded myself into thinking Chase is something he's not. Maybe I've built him up in my head as a prince charming and someone he's not. Maybe I'm in love with a figment of my imagination and Chase is just the face I've put on him.
In high school I tried to forget about him. I tried to convince myself he was just a childhood crush. I didn't wait around for him because I knew he never thought of me when he was out banging his harem of women. He's never had a steady girlfriend, but he's never had a shortage of female company. And while I may have been desperately in love with him, I was never pathetic. I lived my life, and he lived his.
But the worst thing about NHL players is you can never escape them. They're basically celebrities in Canada, and when you share a hometown with two of the NHL's biggest and brightest rookies, everyone wants to talk about them. Even though Chase was in Florida, news constantly trickled back home and the women he'd been with loved to chronicle their exploits online.
So I did my best to move on. I dated and made my own mistakes. One of those mistakes was Derrick. He was my friend and science lab partner first. I knew he wanted more, and I thought,why not? Why shouldn't I be with someone who truly wants to be with me?We dated for the last two years of high school. He was my first kiss and my first lover.
He loved me. I knew he did. And I don't regret being with him, but I always knew it wasn't the right fit. It crushed me to hurt Derrick like I did. When I broke up with him before leaving for culinary school, he cried. He was totally wrecked, but because he's such a good guy, he respected my wishes and let me go.
Then there was Aaron, the selfish, obnoxious jerk who thought he was the next Gordon Ramsay without the British accent. We dated for two months, and when I wouldn't put out or share my recipes with him, he dumped me. But that didn't stop him from telling everyone in our class I was a terrible lay and embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of me.
Asshole.
I cringe, thinking of the memory and the knowing looks and sniggers from the males in my classes. A girl can only take so much. I'd had enough cucumber rubbing and zucchini stroking when I threw down my knife and faced our class.
"Fuck you guys," I'd yelled. "If you think Aaron's cock is the size of a cucumber, you're fucking dreaming. He couldn't hit a G-spot if it kicked him in the face. Especially not with that baby carrot he calls a dick."
The class erupted into laughter and Aaron almost had a seizure. His face was so red I thought he might explode. When Beth, another one of Aaron's conquests, stood up and added,"It's true. Aaron's peen is the size of my pinky finger. And he's a two-pump chump." The class lost it.
I never had another problem with Aaron or any other guy in my class after that. A few of the girls might have thought I was their hero for saying something.
Sighing, I look around the crowded room full of glittering dresses, men in tuxedos, and expensive glasses of champagne. I spot Holly near the stage where bachelors from the Toronto Northmen will be auctioned off, including Chase and Luke. She looks like she might be sick. She and my brother have been unofficially dating in secret, which is how he got wrangled into this charity auction even though he's not single.
But Holly has nothing to worry about. If I had to guess, my brother is head-over-heels in love with her. My entire family is. Holly is one thousand percent better than the last gold-digging, see-you-next-Tuesday that he almost married. She's kind, hardworking, and so sweet she'd give you a toothache unless you get on her bad side. Plus, she's stunning. Actually, she's part of the reason I'm here tonight. Luke let me and my bestie Riley borrow his credit card to outbid any women looking to get their claws in him tonight.
I just forgot to mention that he may also be purchasing his best friend. For me. Within thirty seconds of meeting me tonight, Holly’s best friend Avery devised a plan to help me make a play for Chase during the auction. She’s kind of an evil genius.
I'm wearing a killer black and white cocktail dress that shimmers in the light and shows off just the right amount of toned leg, and Riley helped me with my make-up, as usual. She's here mulling about, waiting to make a bid on Luke. We split up just in case someone recognizes me as Luke's sister. We can't have donors knowing we rigged the auction or thinking there's some weird brother-sister thing going on. Barf. We may be from a small town, but not that small.
"You ready to turn heads or what?" I spin to see Avery striding toward me with an evil grin. "Chase is going to go green with envy when he sees you bidding on other men in that dress."
That's her plan. I'll bid on every bachelor in the auction—except my brother—and pretend I'm not interested in Chase. Then, I'll go in for the kill at the last minute.
"We'll see," I mumble into my champagne glass. There's nothing like a little liquid courage. "I'm probably just making a fool of myself. Luke's pathetic little sister, trying to grab the attention of a hot hockey hero."
"Oh please," Avery rolls her eyes. "Chase has been looking at you like he wants to peel you out of that dress with his teeth."
