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"Well, there's always the other option," she says hopefully.
"What's that?"
"You and Chase can have babies instead!"
"Mom!"
“Angie," Dad warns, but his lips are twitching. "Lily and Chase aren't even married yet."
"Dad! Oh my god! You guys are horrible. Chase and I aren't even officially dating, and I'm still dating Sam." I don't bother mentioning that we're only fulfilling our contracts for the charities involved.
"Oh please," Mom rolls her eyes, shooting Dad a poignant look. "I'm your mother. You've been in love with Chase since you were practically a baby. I've been planning your wedding for years. And never tell Luke and Holly this, but when you two have kids, they'll be my favourite."
I don't even know how to respond to that statement.
"I'm hanging up now," I say, but naturally, my mother manages to get the last word.
"Have fun! Feel free to have lots of unprotected sex!"
The screen goes blank.Thank god. My parents are nuts, but I love them.
My phone starts buzzing again. I'm about to ignore it, thinking it's my mother calling back to provide me with more unsolicited parenting advice for my unborn children, but Holly's name flashes across the screen, so I answer.
"Lily?" I always think it's weird when people call you and open with your name as a question as if they don't realizethey're calling you. I don't point this out to Holly, though, because her voice sounds like it's somewhere between hysteria and an all-out meltdown.
"Yes," I laugh.
"Oh, thank fuck," she curses and sighs in relief at the same time. "Where are you?"
"At home. Why?"
"Because I need you here. Avery and I have a table set for eleven, and we've just realized neither of us has a fucking clue what to do with a turkey, let alone a nineteen-pound one. Do you stuff it before or after you put it in the oven? How do you know when it's done? If I put it in now, is that long enough? Is four-fifty too high to set the oven?"
I try not to laugh. It's nine in the morning. If Holly and Avery put the turkey in the oven now at four-fifty, we'll be eating ashes if they don't burn the condo complex down first.
"Sit tight," I say. "Don't touch the turkey until I get there. I'll be over in fifteen. Do you have lots of white wine?"
"Do you cook a turkey in wine, or baste it, or whatever you do to turkey?" Holly asks sincerely.Poor, clueless woman.
"No, Holly," I laugh again. "We baste ourselves in the wine."
♥?
"I don't know how you do it," Holly sighs, taking a sip of her Riesling. She, Avery, and I are in her kitchen, and everything is cooking. Riley is in the living room with Tyra and Taylor, and there are three empty bottles of white wine in the sink. The boys decided to join the optional morning skate, which was basically their excuse to leave all the cooking to us.
"Cooking's my jive," I giggle, taking another sip from my glass. I'm definitely feeling a buzz, and it's only early afternoon. Nothing wrong with a little day drinking, in my opinion. Avery moves to uncork another bottle, and I share a secret laugh with myself.
"What's so funny?" Holly asks, narrowing her eyes on me. "I mean, besides the obvious, that we don't know shit about fuck when cooking big meals. You just saved our asses."
"I was just looking at all our empty wine bottles and thinking how disappointed Mom would be."
Holly glances at me worriedly. “Why? I was going to ask her to come, but she said we'd wait for Christmas to do another big family celebration, and my mom's officially BFFs with your mom now, so no one is alone. Do you think she's pissed at me?"
"Holly, as far as Angie Valentine is concerned, you can do no wrong. Unless you fail to provide her with a grandchild," I laugh, and Holly blanches, glancing at the wine bottles again. I nod. "The day you stop drinking alcohol is the day my mother maxes out all her credit cards at Baby Gap."
"But I told her Luke and I aren't ready for kids," she says, worry creasing her forehead.
"I know," I groan. "Thanks for that. Now she's set her hopes on me. She told me, and I quote, 'Have fun and feel free to have lots of unprotected sex.' Now that Chase and I are together, she's already been on those baby generator websites where you upload a couple's faces to see what their kids will look like."
