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“Thank you for allowing it,” I said.
“What do you—” He released me and sighed. “You and Will are so much alike, you know that?”
It made me smile before the hurt slammed in.
“If the situation were reversed, he would say the same thing to your pack and your lovely Omega here.”
Sloane held out her hand, and Jeremy shook it. “Will was a great guy,” she said softly. “I wish I’d known him better.”
Jeremy stopped. “I actually have something for you, Ash. Come with me.” He glanced at the line behind us. “Just a second, everyone.”
I followed him away from the crowd and to one of the rooms everyone was keeping their things. He dug around in his coat and finally pulled out something I would know anywhere.
A keychain. Horrendously tacky miniature fuzzy dice. I’d bought the keychain for him as a joke when he got his bike. And though it was a joke, he kept them attached to the bike itself. For years.
“I think he’d want you to have these,” he said.
My breath shook. “Thank you.”
Jeremy looked at me. “I know it hasn’t been long, but have you ridden since it happened?”
I shook my head. Even if I wanted to, my bike was a mess. I wasn’t sure it was fully drivable, and the idea of getting back on the bike right now made me sick to my stomach.
“Promise me you will.” Surprised, I looked up at him, and he smiled sadly. “I know bikes are dangerous, but the two of you have been riding for years. I know you’re careful. This was different. This was an attack.”
Guilt threatened to swallow me, and I pushed it back. “Yeah.”
“Believe me, I’m going to make that asshole pay,” Jeremy said. “Beyond the charges, I have another case already filed. He’s never going to leave prison if I have anything to say about it. But, regardless, don’t let this steal something you love away from you. Will wouldn’t want it, and neither do I.”
Gritting my teeth, I looked down at the tiny fuzzy dice in my hand. Grief opened like a maw in my chest. How was I supposed to get back on the road like it was nothing? Will had always been with me, and now—
“I’m so sorry, Jeremy.”
For the first time, I saw the real pain on his face and not the mask he was keeping up for everyone out at the reception. “Thank you.” His voice cracked. “I’m sorry too.”
He hugged me again, and I hugged him back just as fiercely. “If you need anything, please call me. Even if it’s just to talk about him.”
“I will. Promise.”
What else was there to say? There wasn’t anything you could do to fill the void left by a person who took up so much space. All that was left was a charred hole until you started to heal it. Gently. And even once it wasn’t a blackened scar anymore, it would never be the same.
“He really loved you, you know,” I told him. “The tattoo—”
“I saw it,” he whispered, turning away. “Too late, but I saw it.”
The tattoo I got on my finger for Sloane… Will had gotten one over his heart for Jeremy. Larger and more complex than what I’d gotten, it had delayed our trip. I thought that if we hadn’t gone there maybe we could have avoided all of it.
Now I knew it didn’t matter. No matter what time, something would have happened, because it wasn’t an accident.
Jeremy dropped his head into his hands, and I heard the stifled sound of a sob.
“Call me anytime, Jeremy. I’ll give you some space.”
He nodded, and I slipped out the door, emotion gathering hot behind my eyes. The others waited for me in the main room, and they all noted the dice in my hand. “We can go,” I said thickly. “Jeremy needs a minute.”
“Are you okay?” Sloane asked.
Taking her hand again, I let her pull me through the room and around the people who knew who I was or other friends from school neither of us could bear to speak to. “No,” I told her. “I’m not.”
