AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
His terror mirrored my own. “What did I do?” The agony in his eyes made my chest ache. “If you’re afraid of me, Sloane, I won’t know what to do. Please tell me what I did to make you walk away from this. Because the thought of you being in pain this long is destroying me.”
“No,” I shook my head. “It wasn’t you. Not like that. I’m just…”
Asher hauled me against him. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, and every instinct in me relaxed.Safe. The whine I’d been suppressing all day came out of me, and his answering purr had me burying my face in his neck. “I don’t care how long it takes, blue. I don’t care if what you have to say makes me hate myself. I will stand here and hold you as long as you need to tell me. But first, I want to know why you’re scared.”
One breath. Two. Not having to look at him helped. “I’m scared you’ll think I was silly. But I’m more scared you won’t forgive me.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
Another whine. “How do you know?”
“Did you murder someone?”
I choked out a laugh. “No.”
“Did you cause irreparable damage to anyone’s life?”
“Besides ours?”
“Fuck,” he murmured the word into my hair. “Yes, besides ours.”
There wasn’t a way to shake my head with him holding me so close, but I tried. “Then no.”
“Then I can’t think of a single thing which would make menotforgive you.”
Tears flooded my eyes even as I tried to hold them back. “I left because you were happy.”
He stiffened, but just as quickly I felt him check the instinct and relax his body. Another purr, this time softer, to keep us both easy. “What do you mean?”
I curled my fingers into the back of his shirt, inhaling the sweet scent of chocolate and butter. The softer scent of batter. Every breath was a confirmation that this was good. Right. Okay.
“It was my first heat. I thought I was sick when I missed those classes, but it was really my heat. Didn’t have enough time to make real arrangements, so I rode it out.” Wasn’t exactly fun, but it was what it was.
Ash ran one hand up and down my spine, the motion soothing. “That makes sense now.”
I nodded. “I came back. I was there at the studio, and I saw you through the window with Vivian.” Ash stiffened again, and this time he didn’t relax. “You were so fucking happy, Ash. The smile on your face? It was beautiful. And I was happy for you. You kissed her, and it was like the sun had come out.”
The man holding me hadn’t had a good childhood. There was more pain in his past than I wanted to think about, and it was a miracle he’d turned out this way. As a caring, loving person instead of the monster he could have grown into.
“Then I stepped through the door, and your scent—” A hiccuped breath. “I knew. And I had to decide right then. Before you’d seen me and before my scent had a chance to make it into the space. I couldn’t do it. After everything you’d been through, you’d finally found someone who made you happy, and I’dhelpedyou find her. I didn’t want to rip everything out from under you when you’d just found them. Or worse… for you to see me and be disappointed I was your match.”
He still held me and still purred, his cheek lowered to press against mine. But his hold tightened. Like by keeping me in his arms we could somehow go back and fix it.
“And after. Later. When I thought about whether I’d made the right choice, all I could think about was the look on your face. Would it be anger? That same disappointment? Something else worse? And the more time went by, the harder it was to overcome. I didn’t look for you, because if I had, I would have—” Then, more quietly. “I know I’m a coward for it. And even if you do forgive me, I’m not sure I forgive myself.”
“Sloane.” His lips brush my temple. “Of course I forgive you. Am I pissed at you for leaving? Yes. Am I pissed you would think I would bedisappointedyou’re my match? A little. But I am not and never will be angry with you for trying to protect yourself. Especially when you thought you were doing it to help me.”
He pulled back to look at me, and there wasn’t disappointment there. I saw the emotions flickering there. The hurt and the frustration, but no regret and no disappointment.
“Do you believe me?” He asked.
“Yes.”
Ash nodded once. “Good. Now it’s my turn to talk.” In one movement, he spun me so I faced the wall. One hand in my hair, pulling my neck back so he could reach it and speak into my ear. Every part of me was pressed against every part of him, and there was nowhere to go.
This was Asher the Alpha, and my Omegalovedit.
