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Dad doesn’t approach.He stays by the door, staring from the other side of the room. “Hey, Delphi honey. Thank you for letting me come.”
I battle over my reaction. My natural inclination is to smile hello. The more hardened part of me demands I keep him at arm’s length by remaining stoic. I settle for a mixture of both. My expression soft, though without a smile, and my tone even.
“You can come in.”
He takes a few more steps into the room, then stops. His hands stowed in his pocket, he admires the furnishings, like the curtains draped over the windows and the rocking chair near Serena’s bassinet.
“My baby has a baby,” he whispers in awe.
“Two babies,” I answer, softening even more. “A boy and a girl.”
“Can I… have a look at her?”
I nod. With some difficulty, I’m able to push myself up out of bed and meet him at the bassinet.
Serena looks angelic, the size of a doll, as she dozes. She’s slightly smaller than Dominic was out of the womb at six pounds, two ounces, though her face seems plumper. She has the same head of dark matted hair as her older brother too.
We stand and stare at her in peace. Dad releases a pensive sigh. “She’s beautiful, Delphi. She reminds me of you when you were born.”
“She has a lot of hair like I did. Same for Dominic. It’ll probably start curling up soon.”
“Where is my grandson anyway?”
“With his father.”
A second passes between us where I can feel a wave of uncertainty roll off Dad. His shoulders stiffen and he peers down at Serena in the bassinet with an expression that tells me he’s thinking what to say.
I let him have his moment.
It would be remiss to pretend this isn’t complicated and awkward. After everything we’ve been through over the last twenty years, we can’t pretend things are perfect. We may have come to a truce and agreed to work on our relationship, but it still doesn’t change the history. It doesn’t erase our past.
The good and the bad.
“Delphi,” Dad says slowly. He releases another breath, this one far less controlled. The kind of breath released by someone working up nerve. “I don’t even know where to begin… except to say, I grew up vowing I’d be a better father than mine was. He gave us luxury and opportunities many other children weren’t afforded; he saw to it that I went to the most prestigious schools like Dupoint, and that I rose to prominence in our elite circles. He believed in my dream to become the first Black District Attorney Northam had ever seen, and though he wasn’t alive by the time that happened, I know he’s proud.
“However, my father… had shortcomings. He mingled with the Neptune Society and had mob ties to men like Leandro Crotone and Clay Palmer’s family. He was a womanizer who had several children out of wedlock on my mother. He wasn’t the warmest person. I loved my father very much, but growing into a man, I knew I wanted to do better. I promised myself I’d be the family man my father was not. My goal was only ever to give Leontine, Marcel, and you the best life I could. You have to believe me when I say that.”
I do.
I believe Dad. In my heart, as I listen to his words, I know he sought to give us the best. He raised us in such a way that we began to expect the best of ourselves. Both a blessing and sometimes a curse…
“But what I didn’t realize, was that in my search to do better than my father,” he says, frowning. “I sought perfection. I made it a requirement for all of us. I demanded it of myself and how I carried myself as the district attorney—the image I presented to the world as the brave, crime fighting champion of the city and the model husband and father. I made Leontine pretend she was the happy housewife and mother at my side all as I dragged her to Neptune Society parties and campaign events she hated. You can remember how I did the same to your brother and you. I demanded nothing short of perfection.”
“Dad,” I mutter with a shake of my head, “you encouraged us to try our hardest, which we did.”
“I put untold pressure on the both of you. Especially…” he sighs again and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Especially on you, Delphi. I put so much pressure on you, you felt like you had to mask yourself. Even after what that monster did to you in that alleyway. I’m… I’m so sorry, honey. That you felt like you couldn’t be yourself. You couldn’t show the less-than-perfect parts. As you father, I should’ve realized how big of a blindspot that was.
“And why it explained the one thing that drove us apart. I’ve spent half your life trying to keep you from Salvatore Mancino. The more attached to him you became, the harder I tried to break you two up. I’ve never understood the draw—what about this man made you want to be with him. You never had to pretend for him. You never had to hide or be perfect.”
Listening to Dad verbalize the complexities of our father-daughter relationship and the attraction I’ve always had for Salvatore makes emotion well up inside my chest. It’s like hearing my innermost thoughts parroted back to me—things Dad and I have never explicitly discussed.
“I should’ve seen it sooner,” he admits, pocketing his hands. “I’ve always been obsessed with Salvatore’s lifestyle. The things he does for a living. I was viewing it from the perspective of the district attorney. Some violent criminal manipulating my perfect daughter into being with him. But really, he was just a man who loved my daughter for who she was.”
A lump forms in my throat that makes it impossible to swallow. “Dad, if you knew… if you had any idea how much he loves me, how he’s been there for me whenever I’ve needed him… you couldn’t possibly hate him.”
“It’s funny the things you see after the fact. If only it were possible to have hindsight from the start. I don’t know what else to say, Delphi, except I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve wasted years trying to sabotage your relationship and separate you. I’m sorry I didn’t respect your choices and I refused to see that you were a smart, capable woman that wasn’t being controlled. You were in love. Most of all, I’m sorry I let things get as out of hand as they did. Salvatore is the man you’ve chosen—I have to respect that. Iwillrespect it. By the looks of it, he’s a more attentive husband and father than I was…”
I shake my head. “You did just fine, Dad. You weren’t perfect, but no one is. That’s what we should all remember, don’t you think?”
