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Chapter Nineteen
Winnie snuggled intobed. Bear was checking the house before bed one more time. He’d even doublechecked her smoke alarms were working. By the time they’d moved the kids, some of Bear’s stuff, and accepted all the deliveries from different people, she was dead tired.
Luckily she and Bear had changed diapers for Roam’s kids so that wasn’t something they needed to learn. The kids were bedded down in one of her spare bedrooms which would become someone’s bedroom. Her other room had workout equipment in it that had been too heavy to mess with tonight. Tonight had been all about just getting a place for tonight.
Bear walked in. She was exhausted but not too tired to appreciate her man. In deference to the kids in the house, he was wearing gray sweatpants. His wide chest with his tattoo paired with the dusting of hair which arrowed down his stomach had her considering what was more important. Licking down her man’s stomach or sleep. Selfishly she wanted to taste every inch of Benton but there was a high chance of them being interrupted tonight. She wanted their door open if the kids needed them.
The social worker had indicated the baby didn’t have a schedule yet. Regina had said to expect the baby to wake them every three to four hours if they were lucky. Calling him the baby brought up another point. He deserved a name. She had to push away the emotions about a woman she didn’t know dying before she could name her baby or she’d never get through this without turning into a huge puddle of tears.
Bear pulled the cover up and lay down beside her, leaning over to brush a kiss across her forehead. He slid his arm underneath her and tugged her to his shoulder.
“I am petrified. I’m worried I won’t be what the kids need. Until I came to live with Rascal, I didn’t know moms could be nice. How do I give them what they need?”
His arm tightened and he kissed her forehead again. “You were amazing. You walked over in front of our whole family and claimed me and the kids. I know you wanted to keep it between us for a little longer.”
She waited to see if he wanted an answer or still had more to say. Her Benton had so much love to give. He had no idea of his capacity. Tonight, when he’d fed the baby, his hands had been so gentle. She’d heard him quietly singing while the baby finished the bottle. Phoebe and David had crawled up into the chair with him to listen.
“I had my time getting to keep you to myself. Today, I got the greatest Christmas gift. My man and I were given three wonderful children. You asked how you give them what they need? You love them, Benton. Someday, when our kids are grown, you’ll look back and see yourself as the man I see. A man whose heart is so full of love it spills over into everything he does. As long as we love them, we’ll be fine. I know we’ll screw up because my parents freely admit they’ve messed up. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about loving so deeply and fully that their lives are overflowing with the joy of being loved. You call me your sunbeam but you completely miss that you’re my light. Your care in thinking through situations to keep people safe is your own special light. I love you, Benton Carter, and I’m in this forever. I’ll ride with you forever in this life.”
A sniff and a shudder working through his chest heralded Benton pulling her tighter.
“Are you sure I can do this?”
Benton’s stoic face most days presented an unfeeling visage to the world but his quavering voice illuminated how much her man felt.
“Yes, I know we can do this together.”
“Love you,” he whispered.
