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I didn’t know what the hell happened, but something got her. It was her past I imagined. I didn’t know what it was, but something was haunting her. It seemed to be especially loud today.
ChapterSixteen
Deanna
Iwas flooded with memories—not good ones. It was the China set. My mom had the same one or something very similar. I didn’t know why it hit me so hard. I blamed the whole night. It was so weird to be sitting down to dinner and acting like a family. I remembered sitting down and having tea parties with my mom before she really went downhill. Whenever I saw the China pieces come out, I knew it was time for a tea party. It meant I was going to get some time with Mom.
My mother wasn’t always a drunk. When I was little, she used to serve me Kool-Aid and crackers on the China. I remembered sitting down at the coffee table for our tea party. Looking back, it was probably safe to assume I was drinking Kool-Aid and she was drinking something else. The China was a good and bad memory. It reminded me of good times, but it was also a connection to one of the worst days of my life.
The last time I saw the China it had been shattered all over the house. Pieces of it were embedded in the walls. Shards covered the floor in the living room and kitchen. Bloody footprints were throughout the house and on the cement stoop outside. I was ten years old. The night before that incident, my parents went out. When I got up that morning, they were still gone. By that time, I was used to it.
That day I got home from school and my parents weren’t home, but their horrible, bloody mess was there to greet me. I remembered standing in the doorway and crying. The mess overwhelmed me. I didn’t even know where to start. It was the mail lady who changed my life. She saw me crying on the stoop and came to see what was wrong. When she saw the mess, she took action. She called the police, who called CPS, and I was officially put into the system.
I went from one foster home to the next. I never went back home. My parents pretended they wanted me back, but they were never willing to do the things necessary to get me back home. I didn’t care. My life in foster care wasn’t any better or worse. It was just life. I got up in the morning and went to school and went back to whatever house I was living at.
One visit, my mother showed up by herself. She looked like hell. She informed me my father was going to prison for ten years. Apparently, he beat the shit out of some guy in a bar fight. The guy was seriously injured. Then Mom disappeared. I didn’t know where she was and I didn’t care. When I turned eighteen, I aged out of the system and never looked back.
I took a few deep breaths of the cool, night air. I didn’t even ask if I was staying the night. There was no reason for me to stay the night. It was just one of those things I felt like we all assumed was going to happen.
“Dee?” Lily’s quiet voice pulled me out of my reverie.
“Hi.” I smiled and wiped my eyes.
“Are you okay?” Lily asked.
“I’m fine,” I replied. “I’m sorry I rushed out on dessert.”
“Are you sad?”
“Sometimes I just get a bad memory that makes me sad,” I answered.
She was quiet for a few seconds. “That happens to me sometimes,” she murmured.
“Is that what your nightmares are about?” I asked her.
“Sometimes,” she whispered.
I bent down and gave her a hug. “You don’t have to talk about it. Just know that if you want to talk about stuff that makes you sad, I’m here. I’m always going to be someone you can talk to.”
“Are you going to stay the night?” she asked.
“I’m not sure,” I replied.
“You should,” she said and reached for my hand. “We can have pancakes in the morning.”
I smiled. “Let’s see if your dad has plans.”
“He went in his office to talk on the phone,” she said.
“I’ll ask him later. We should probably get you in the bath.”
We went back inside. The house was quiet as usual. I got her bath going and left her to it. I went back downstairs to clean up the kitchen. I needed to stay busy.
“Hey,” Ramsey said, walking into the kitchen. “Where’s Lily?”
“In the bath,” I answered. “I was just cleaning up.”
“Can you stay for a while?” he asked. “Stay the night if you’d like. I’ve got a call I have to make overseas. I’m going to be tied up for about an hour. Would you mind getting Lily to bed?”
