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I turned off the TV and folded up the blanket we snuggled under. I walked to the den, shutting off lights as I went. I looked at his bar and went for something basic. I wasn’t a bartender. That was another skill he could put on his long résumé. He made a hell of a martini. I poured two gin and tonics. It was an easy drink, one I learned how to make when I was eight, thanks to my parents.
Some parents taught their kids how to clean or cook. My parents showed me how to make drinks. It was gin and tonic in the afternoon. Screwdrivers in the morning. I carried our drinks to the couch and leaned back in the room lit only by the small gas stove insert in the old brick fireplace and waited for him to return.
ChapterNineteen
Ramsey
Itook the drink she offered and sat beside her on the couch. It was time to have the conversation we had been avoiding since I got out of her bed this morning. “So, should we address the elephant in the room?” I asked and took a drink.
“Last night?”
I nodded. “Last night.”
“Do we need to talk about it?” she asked.
“I just want you to know that’s not something I do with the nannies,” I said. “You’re the first nanny I’ve ever taken to bed.”
“Good to know.” She laughed.
“I wouldn’t mind doing it again,” I said quietly. “I just need to know where you’re at with all of that.”
She seemed to think about it for a second. “I didn’t mind it.”
“High praise,” I remarked with a laugh.
“I wouldn’t mind doing it again either, but I think we should maybe not think of it as anything more than what it is,” she said.
I nodded, totally cool with the idea of casual. I leaned over and nuzzled her ear. “That works for me,” I whispered. My tongue swiped over the side of her neck. I heard her sharp intake of breath and kissed the spot left damp.
I leaned forward to put our glasses on the side table and kissed her. Her hands slid up the back of my neck with her fingers twining through my hair. I couldn’t get over how badly I craved her. All day, I’d been watching her and thinking about how sweet she tasted. I wanted to feast upon her body. I wanted to devour her.
My arousal sprang to life, my need to possess her dominating all my thoughts. But then, like a sudden gust of wind, the sound of soft sobs reached my ears and I pulled away. I looked up to find my daughter, Lily, just entering the doorway, her tiny frame shivering with fear and tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. My heart clenched with a mixture of concern and sadness.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” I asked, my voice filled with tenderness and worry. “Did you have a bad dream?”
Dee casually got to her feet and went to Lily. I was glad she could. I needed a second to get things under control. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” Dee asked quietly.
“I had a nightmare,” she murmured.
Dee dropped low in front of Lily and pulled her into her arms. “It’s okay,” Dee assured her. “You’re safe. Your dad’s right here and I’m here.”
I quickly walked toward them and rubbed Lily’s back. “It’s okay. Come on, I’ll take you back to be and lay with you.”
“I… I want Dee,” Lily whimpered, her tiny voice barely audible.
My heart skipped a beat, realizing that Lily was seeking solace from Dee instead of me. In that moment, an overwhelming rush of emotions flooded my being. As if a tidal wave had crashed over me, a mixture of surprise, joy, and vulnerability coursed through my veins. Dee, her eyes brimming with compassion, gracefully lifted Lily, who wasn’t all that much smaller than Dee was.
“I’ll take you back to bed,” Dee said.
My heart swelled with love as I witnessed the bond that had formed between them, their connection surpassing any expectations I had held. I watched as Dee enveloped Lily in a warm embrace, whispering soothing words that carried the weight of a mother’s love as she carried Lily out of the room. In that instant, I realized the depth of Lily’s acceptance and affection for Dee, the woman who had not only captured my heart but had also embraced my daughter as her own.
My thoughts raced, mingling with an overwhelming surge of gratitude and admiration. Dee’s presence in Lily’s life had woven threads of trust and security, gently mending the wounds of the past and replacing them with the tender blossoms of love. In that moment, I felt an indescribable certainty that Dee was not only the woman who had captured my heart but also the person who would play an irreplaceable role in Lily’s life.
I didn’t know what to think. I had never gone mommy shopping for Lily. Never. It didn’t seem necessary. I didn’t want to bring a woman into Lily’s life if I wasn’t ready for a commitment. Now, Lily had a woman in her life and I was the one trying to figure out if I was ready for a commitment.
As I sat on the couch, lost in my thoughts, I couldn’t help but wonder about my own feelings for Dee. I had been drawn to her from the moment we met, but I had been hesitant to take things further. The fear of commitment had always held me back, but seeing the way she had comforted Lily...
I couldn’t fall for another woman. I didn’t want to risk another woman walking out on me and ultimately walking out on Lily. It wasn’t fair to her. But as I watched Dee and Lily interact, the love and affection between them was undeniable. The way Dee cared for Lily, with tenderness and patience, melted my heart. I realized that I wanted that kind of love too, the kind that Dee could offer me, but not yet. I wasn’t ready to take a plunge that could have a hard-hitting impact on Lily if things didn’t end well.
