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A firm hand took mine. I opened my eyes and saw Ramsey standing beside my bed again. “Damn, woman,” he whispered and gently rubbed his hand over my head. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whimpered with fresh tears falling. “I’m sorry. I would never hurt Lily. We weren’t driving fast. It all just happened.”
“Hey,” he said gently. “Lily is okay. I’m just glad you’re both okay.”
“I should have been paying better attention,” I said. “I was thinking about the talk I wanted to have with you and I wasn’t paying attention. I should have never lied to you about my experience. I just really wanted the job. I swear, I love Lily like she’s my own. I would never hurt her. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I should have lied to her and—”
“No,” he said. “You did the right thing being honest with her. That’s what she needs. She doesn’t need the adults in her life lying to her and telling her things that aren’t true. When it happens for real, she needs to know we’re telling her the truth.”
I wanted to read in to that, but my brain was foggy. I was pretty sure I was on some kind of painkillers. I still felt pain, but I imagined it could have been a lot worse. “I’m sorry about your car,” I murmured. “Is it bad?”
He kissed my forehead. “I don’t care about the car.”
“The nurse said I hit a concrete barrier,” I said. “Is that true?”
He nodded. “It is.”
“How bad is the car?”
He smirked. “The car will not be on the road ever again.”
I groaned. “That’s such an expensive car. I don’t know how I’m going to pay you back.”
“I have insurance,” he said. “I’m not worried. That car did exactly what it was supposed to do. Every one of those airbags protected the two of you. That’s why I wanted you in that car. I feel like I should call them and tell them they did a good job with the design.”
I tried to smile but it hurt. “Can I have some water? My lips are so dry.”
“I think we better wait for the doctor to come in,” he said.
He kissed my forehead again, holding my hand and stroking his other hand up and down my arm. It was so tender and sweet. And loving. Watching him look at me with such compassion and tenderness made my heart swell. I was certain I’ve fallen in love with the guy. Or it was the drugs. Either way, I knew we had to fix things between us. I couldn’t stand not being his friend.
“Lily came to the hospital without me,” I spoke my random thoughts aloud.
“They needed to get her to the hospital,” he said. “You were pinned in the car. They had to cut you out.”
My eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“I haven’t seen the pictures,” he said. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that. They told me the car was totaled and that was enough for me.”
“How is Lily?” I asked. “Not physically, but emotionally. I can only imagine how traumatized she is.”
He sighed deeply. “Lily’s a tough cookie. She’s holding up as best as she can, but I know she’s scared. She’s been asking about you constantly.”
I frowned. “I don’t want her to be scared. I want to be there for her.”
He gave me a small smile. “You will be. We’ll both be there for her. We’ll make sure she knows that she’s not alone in this.”
I nodded, feeling relieved knowing that we were both on the same page. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to push away the pain that was throbbing through my body.
“Do you need anything?” he asked.
“Just some water,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “Please.”
“Let me see if I can find a nurse to give the all clear,” he said and walked out of the room.
I was left alone with my thoughts and memories of the accident. It all happened so fast, and yet it felt like an eternity. I remembered the screeching tires and the sound of metal crushing against metal. I remembered the pain and the fear that had consumed me. I vaguely remembered being smacked in the face by the airbag. I must have been awake for part of it because I heard the sizzling of the steam rolling out of the engine. I was pretty sure I remembered the sirens and trying to get to Lily.
Lily’s crying was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I was so glad she wasn’t hurt. I would have never been able to live with myself if she’d been really hurt. Knowing I mentally scarred her for life was plenty of guilt. I hoped she could sleep tonight. She already struggled with nightmares and I just made it so much worse.
