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I would never forgive her for taking my sister from me. When I finished reading as much as I could, I had a blinding headache and no more answers than when I’d started. I reordered and bound the letters before putting them back into the box. Worthless, every last one of them. I glanced at the time. It was ten thirty and late, but I needed to talk to Brooke. I pulled up her name, hit the button to connect the call, then waited.
“Winter? Is everything all right?” Concern laced her voice, giving me the anchor I needed.
“Sort of.” A beep sounded on my end. “Hold on a sec.” I pulled the phone from my ear and swiped the screen to read the text.
It was Landon, finally responding to my message asking how his sister-in-law was doing.
Landon: It’s possibly a false alarm but waiting to chat with the doc.
Me: Thanks for the update.
Landon: Hey—thanks for listening to me today. I’m here if you want to talk too.
Me: You can come over after if you want or if you need to talk more.
Landon: Not sure how late I’ll be. I’ll message you.
I exited the messages and returned to my call, oddly disappointed that he wasn’t coming to my room. I didn’t want to be alone, and when I was with him, I felt safe—which wasn’t normal. The only people I felt safe around were my new family.
“Sorry about that, Brooke. I’m seeing this guy, and he texted.”
“Oooh, tell me about him.”
I laughed, picturing her infectious grin and how she would snuggle into the corner of the couch. She always had time for Jax and me. It was one of the things I loved so much about her. “I will, but I called about something else.”
“I don’t like the tone of your voice. Do you need me to drive over there? I will. Jammies and all, you know I don’t care.”
“No, you don’t need to do that.” I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my cheek on them. “I just want to talk.”
“Okay. I’m here.”
“I read most of the letters.”
“Oh, damn—I mean shoot, sorry for my French. They had to be heavy. You sure you don’t want me to drive over?”
I grinned. “It’s okay. I’m good.”
Brooke always apologized when she swore unless she was angry at one of us. That didn’t happen often and usually only with Jax, because he tested his parents sometimes.
“Did they help?”
“No. She was unhinged that first year. I’m sure she was going through withdrawals.” That had absolutely been the case. Mom had been a drug addict, and to quit cold turkey, I was just glad I wasn’t around to witness it.
“She got the help she needed. I’m sure it was tough to read them, though.”
“Not those, no. It brought back what it was like living with her. Summer and I never knew which side we would get. She would waver from being chill and high to having violent rages.” I wished Summer had survived and had lived with Brooke, James, and Jaxon. She would have loved every second of it even more than I had. It tore me up more than I let on to my foster family. But I suspected they knew. I’d opened up some about my sister. She hadn’t been perfect, but she’d been mine.
“What did the other letters say?” Brooke asked.
“They didn’t make sense, though they were more coherent. She named people I don’t know and told me she would always protect me.” That made me furious. I’d balled that note up and tossed it into the box as soon as I’d read it. “It’s not real. She never protected us.”
“I’m sorry, Winter. I’d hoped you would find answers or closure at the very least.”
“I know.” She and my therapist had meant well. “You have helped me more than my mother could ever pretend to.”
“I’m going to come by.”
“No, really. I’m okay. I just wanted to talk some of it out with you. I’m going to go to sleep.”
