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“Uh,” Dmitri said, because he wasn’t sure what to say. “He’s a good boss. He’s nice.”
“He’s with that doctor, Aksel, right? I went through a phase where I sprained my ankle like once a week so my mom would have to take me in to have it looked at.” Paxton grinned, and there was something a little predatory behind it, but Dmitri thought maybe he was just reading into things. He’d never really been fair to people—not before his bad birthday date and especially not after. Paxton was clearly a sexual being, but Knox had reminded him that sex wouldn’t be everything if the person was right.
And he deserved to be right to someone.
Luca finished up with Mike, and the two of them walked over, Mike giving a look to Paxton, who saluted and hurried off. “Well, I think this is it,” Luca said, threading his arm through Dmitri’s.
Mike rubbed the back of his neck. “Just have Adriano send over a list of what he wants done. I’m assuming Adam’s taking care of the food?”
“To be honest, I have no idea,” Luca said with a cheerful smile. “But whatever’s going to happen, my brother is going to make it lavish, so I think we’re good.”
“Great,” Mike said with a soft grin. “See you kids later.”
He was gone after a few short strides out of the room, and Luca tugged Dmitri even closer to his body. He’d never been friends with him the same way Raphael was, but he was free with his physical affection, and Dmitri found he liked it. He leaned in like it was easy, and Luca slung an arm tight around his waist.
“So. You think it’ll be good? Will my spoiled Hollywood brother be impressed?”
At that, Dmitri smiled. “You know, I think he will be. When is this party?”
“Soon. We’re still working on the exact date,” Luca said and tugged Dmitri toward the doors. “You’re not making big plans, are you?”
Dmitri shook his head, because no, he wasn’t. But then he caught Paxton’s eye on his way out, and something shook him. Maybe he would though—not this year. Maybe not even next, but he deserved a life with holiday plans and plus ones to town parties. He deserved this gentle snuggle as they walked out to the car.
And he deserved the rewards of all the hard work he was putting in with school and with his job and with his life.
He was tired, and right then, he was feeling very done chasing after things that would never be his. He’d love Raphael until he died, but it really was time to move on.
14
Dmitri staredat the pink envelope sitting on the passenger seat of his car, trying not to feel the way it was choking him. He had a few days, and enough in savings, but his budget was stretching too far. Wilder was getting along just fine without him, and he felt guilty asking for more hours when it would just take away from everyone else.
Roman had given him every shift he had, but with winter approaching, things started to shut down. Savannah was on the coast, so there was no skiing, no chalets, no winter tourism outside of the holiday décor and little trolley tours that took people caroling and shopping on Broughton Street.
It was the first time he realized he might not actually be able to balance all of these things at once.
Nellie could probably find him something cheaper, or he could go ask Jayden if he could have his old room back, but it felt like leaping backward in his journey, and that was somehow worse than getting through winter with no heat. He had other options—plenty of them, but they would either make him feel like a failure, or force him to have a front row seat to Raphael’s new and improving love life.
The worst part was, if he took Raphael up on the offer for a room without rent, he wouldn’t judge Dmitri the way everyone else would. He wouldn’t think twice about Dmitri’s struggle, he’d just go out of his way to ease it. But as appealing as it was, Dmitri wanted to feel like he could stand on his own, even if it meant struggling a little more.
He made it to the station and grabbed his coat—the thin green material deceptively warm, which he appreciated, and he made his way inside. Roman was in his usual spot at his computer, though that day, his chair was pushed to the far side of the room, and he was sitting tall in his power chair.
“What can I do today?”
Roman looked at him with a raised brow. “You eager to get your hands dirty?”
Dmitri ran fingers through his hair and tried not to sound frustrated in his sigh. “I just need to be kept busy.”
Roman hummed, using the electric control to back up, and he moved around Dmitri’s seat to their little kitchenette where he started the coffee machine. “I figured you’d want to use this time to work on school.”
Dmitri opened his mouth to tell Roman that he wasn’t being paid for schoolwork—but in a way, he was. School made him think of Rian, though, which made him think of Raphael, which made his stomach twist. He couldn’t put it off entirely, but right then he wanted some escape.
“I think I need a break.”
“You look like you need a stiff drink,” Roman countered. The coffeemaker gurgled, and he used the counter to help himself stand, grabbing one of the tumblers off the shelf before loading it up with coffee and cream. “If I were Aksel, I’d probably load you up with Bailey’s, but I try to take this job seriously.” He wheeled back over to Dmitri and handed the mug out. “So drink this, then you can start on my to-do list.”
Dmitri pushed to his feet and took the coffee with him. “What do you need me to do?”
“A couple rounds. Adam said he thought he heard coyotes behind L’Chaim last night, so check for deer.”
