AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Just find a way to be kind to yourself.”
Sonia had too much on her plate to really take care of him, and he’d understood that when she had driven him to Jayden’s with his pathetically small suitcase after his first disastrous week home. He’d gotten into two fights at school and was suspended, and Sonia had cried until she couldn’t talk anymore, and Rose had been sweet but firm when she said him living there wasn’t going to work.
He didn’t get it until Jayden explained that she was going blind, and she’d lost her position at the cooking school, and the bar was already struggling. And then Dmitri had come along with his piles of baggage and pain so overwhelming he couldn’t help but lash out. He’d been shuffled off with good reason, but even those good reasons hadn’t entirely softened the blow.
He knew she was trying to make up for it now, but he wasn’t sure the reluctant date was what she had in mind for him. He took his change the server handed back and stuffed it into his pocket, joining Felix on the chairs by the host stand.
“Can I ask you something?” Felix’s voice broke the tentative silence between them, and Dmitri startled.
“Sure.”
“Why do you want to eat take out in your car in the middle of an empty parking lot? By yourself?” Felix added the last two words with raised brows.
Dmitri ducked his head toward his knees and twisted his fingers together because answering made him sound so fucking pathetic. “Things…” He stopped and shook his head. “I lived in Savannah when I was a kid, but my dad moved us away, and I only got back a few years ago.”
“So, you’re kind of new again,” Felix said.
“It was different when I got back,” Dmitri said with a shrug. “It’s like, everything moved on without me.” He sat back and let out a puff of air. “If I tell you the truth about my plans tonight, will you promise not to pity me?”
Felix ran a finger under his lower lip. “I’ll try, but it’s kind of a natural reaction, you know?”
Dmitri closed his eyes. “I guess so.”
“For what it’s worth, pity won’t make me think less of you.” Felix touched his thigh, just a brief motion, and it made his skin hot. “You’re quiet, and you’re interesting. I’ve been kind of hoping for some personality flaw because you’re making me feel a little inadequate here.”
Dmitri almost laughed because it had to be a joke, but there was a strange, soft vulnerability to Felix’s eyes. “Today’s my birthday.”
Felix blinked at him, then cleared his throat. “You shitting me?”
“Nope. Today is my twentieth birthday. My uncle gave me that car, and my aunts gave me cash and some cupcakes, but no one else remembered or cared. And it felt fucking sad, so I decided that going out into a field in the middle of nowhere and eating Chinese take-out was better than admitting it to them and then facing all the people who were shamed into wishing me happy birthday at my aunts’ restaurant.”
“Fuck.”
This time, Dmitri did laugh. “Yeah.”
“I do feel sorry for you. I know you don’t want me to, but that’s fucking sad.” Felix shifted a little closer to him. “No one deserves that.”
Dmitri shrugged. “I’m not arguing about it being sad, I just don’t want you thinking I’m some pathetic loser. That’ll be my gift tonight, okay? Because if you want to know another secret? Iama pathetic loser.”
Felix looked at him out of the corner of his eye, his fingers tapping the side of the chair in a rhythm Dmitri didn’t recognize. After a beat, he sighed. “Well, does it help if I say I like you anyway?”
It felt a little false because Felix had spotted him by the lake and maybe thought he was pretty—and hewaspretty. And maybe Felix had a thing for sad, pretty boys sitting by lakes, but that was hardly the sum of all Dmitri’s parts. Still, it felt nice to know that someone had made an effort on a day he hadn’t really wanted to wallow.
“It helps,” he finally said.
Felix smiled, and he inched his hand over until they linked pinky fingers, and they waited for the food to arrive.
The drive to the church wasn’t very long, and Dmitri was glad the sun was dipping below the trees as he pulled off the road and parked on the far side under low hanging branches covered in Spanish moss. His new car didn’t offer anything open like the bed of Jayden’s truck, but they got comfortable on the still-warm hood, and he tried not the care about the way the metal sank inward under their combined weight, or the way it felt just slightly awkward and unstable.
They ate with splintered chopsticks and spilled soy sauce everywhere, and Felix declared he was going to make a pig of himself before devouring all the food he ordered without sharing a single bite. Dmitri smiled over his sweet and sour chicken and felt sort of okay, which was better than the crushing ennui from earlier in the day.
“Can I ask another question that’s probably offensive?” Felix said into the quiet evening, and Dmitri shrugged. “Are you, uh… I mean, you’re Asian, so…”
“I’m Chinese,” Dmitri said, not bothering to be offended because he’d seen the question coming a mile away. The look on Felix’s face was almost comical when he ordered the whitest item on the menu, and he’d seen the way his gaze flickered to the red script on the side of the to-go rice box and then up to Dmitri’s face where he was very obviously studying the slope of his eyes. “I mean, I’m from China, but I was a baby when I was brought over here. I don’t remember any of it.”
“Was the question rude?”
Dmitri sighed. “Everyone asks.”
