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Sex with Austin may have ended badly, but I was a willing participant.
But the fact it’s a question at all shows how fucked up things with Austin have become.
Gabriel grips my hip, stepping into me, offering his hard body as support. “Did he hurt you?”
Obviously. “My arm.” How do I even begin to talk about this? It feels like a bad dream that happened to someone else…only I’ve got the battle scars to remind me it really happened.
Gently, Gabriel touches my bad shoulder. “Not what I meant.”
I feared as much.
“There was blood on the floor near the couch.” He offers proof I didn’t need to hear.
“You went to my apartment?” Panic laces my words. I can’t imagine what he found. I know our clothes—Austin’s and mine—were everywhere in our urgency to breach the distance that had grown exponentially over the last few months, or longer if I’m being honest. “There was blood?”
Shame floods every part of me. I step out of Gabriel’s hold and back away. I don’t deserve his touch. His support. His pity.
“You needed clothes. Your phone. Your purse.” Now he sounds flustered, trying to justify his actions. “It’s all on the bed, by the way.”
“I wish you hadn’t.” I step back as he moves toward me. The idea of him seeing where I lay unconscious and naked—bare to the EMTs who came to help—makes me sick.
“You didn’t answer. Did hehurtyou? Before this?”
A tear breaks free. He’ll never understand. Gabriel is a black and white guy. He sees no gray, and there was a lot of gray that night. I wanted Austin to want me like he used to. I needed to feel loved, cherished. Instead, his unfaithful admission killed all hope, then he pulverized it into dust when he compared my body parts to his other women—before he... “Did you know?” My tears fall freely, uncontrollably.
“Know what?”
“About the other women? That he was cheating on me?” I’m shaking with anger as my voice remains deceptively calm. Gabriel reaches for me, but I can’t stand his touch and move away. “You knew!”
“No!” His vehemence matches mine. “I suspected.” On a second attempt, he manages to capture my hand. “He wasn’t talking, and he sure as shit knew better than to flaunt his cheating around me.” Moving closer, he adds, “You’re not the only one he pulled away from. He did it to me too.”
“Oh?” I lock on to him. The idea that he thinks his Austin relationship woes are comparable to mine has venom building, ready to spew. “He fucked your ass hard enough to make you bleed, dislocated your arm, then left you unconscious, naked and bleeding on the floor too?”
Oh, God!
Horrified, I dart up the stairs, ignoring the pain that throbs with each step. I didn’t mean to say that. Well, I meant to say it. But I shouldn’t have.
My revealing outburst must have slowed his response as I manage to make it to the guest room and lock the door before he reaches me.
Gabriel tests the handle. “Frankie, let me in.”
I brace with my back against the door. “I’ll be gone tomorrow. Just… Give me tonight.” Where am I even going to go?
“You’re not going anywhere.” He bangs on the door; the vibration radiates in my shoulder. When I cry out, he stops. “God, Angel, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His voice softly seeps through the crack under the door. Even when he can’t see me, he knows when I’m hurting. Maybe he didn’t know Austin was cheating. “Please, let me in. Let me take care of you.”
“I can’t. I need time. Space.” I sink to the bed. If he chooses to break down the door, I can’t stop him, and I certainly don’t want to be standing on the other side of it.
I swear I can hear him breathing, contemplating on the other side of the door. “Okay. Rest now. I’ll check on you later.”
I lie down, not bothering with the covers. I need a quick nap.
Hours later I’m roused from sleep by Gabriel slipping me under the covers. So much for the locked door. The bed dips behind me, and he pulls me into his chest. “I’m sorry for upsetting you.” He kisses my head, squeezes my hip. “So sorry for what he did.” He buries his head in my neck. “You’re not alone. I’m here.”
“I don’t trust you.” It’s a sleepy confession, rife with truth. “I want to…”
“You trust me. You’re just afraid to.”
“Austin hurt me in the worst way, but you’ve hurt me too. You were awful to me for years, but…you’re not like that lately. I don’t know what to think anymore.”
