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Asshole in full force.Check.
I nearly swallow my tongue to keep from calling after her. What have I done? I made her feel like a piece of ass. I wanted to fuck her, true. But that’s not all I want from her. I want her here. Under my roof, in my bed, under my body as I pound into her all night long. So, sue me if I’m attracted to her. If I can’t get enough of her body, her face, her mouth.
But is that all I want?
I grab the whiskey off the counter on my way to the back deck. Maybe she had the right idea. Drown my sorrows and deal with it in the morning. She’s not listening to anything I have to say tonight.
But you didn’t say anything.
Fuck! I’m so out of my league here. What do I know about being a boyfriend, a husband, a father? Isn’t that want she wants? Isn’t that what she was asking me? Can I give her more than my body and a safe place to live?
My Angel is destined for heaven, and I’m destined for hell.
That’s what life would be like without her—hell. I’ve never been in a relationship. The only women in my life are my mom and sister. I won’t lie to her. I can’t promise what I don’t have to give. I’m fucked up. My dad saw to that. I always knew Frankie was too good for me, but I thought she could be happy with what I have to offer. She was happy, until she wasn’t. Her tears were bad enough. I’d never forgive myself if I hurt her more. If I took and took without giving her what she deserves. A forever after, and I’m clean out.
I look for answers in the bottom of the whiskey bottle. By the time I finish it, I don’t even know what the question was.
The phone buzzing in my pocket pulls me from sleep. Laid out on the deck lounger, my mouth tastes like death. My head pounds like there’s a jack hammer trying to break through, and my stomach threatens to make me relive it all.
“Yeah.” I spew the sawdust from my mouth.
“What the fuck did you do?” Jonah’s bark has more bite than mine. Impressive—and unusual.
“Specify,” I groan and roll to my side, managing to sit up without puking.
“Cap says Frankie is red-eyed and not talking. But by the looks of it, she spent the night at the gym and was waiting outside for him at the ass-crack of dawn. Thatspecificenough for you, Mr. No Mercy?”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, you managed to fuck up the best thing you’ve had going.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Her shit is packed into her office. She moved out on your ass. Fix it. Fix it now.” Though cell phones don’t click, I swear I can hear the anger of his hang-up ringing in my ear all damn day.
After brushing my hand across my face, I stumble inside and upstairs, confirming my Angel did, in fact, move all her shit out. There’s not a speck of her left in the guest room, my room, closet, or bathroom. It’s like she was never here. She never existed in my space. She never shared the same air I’m having trouble breathing now.
A snap of her fingers, and poof, she’s gone.
The tightening in my chest takes me to the bed. I’ve fucked up.
Asshole in full force.Check.
I’M NOT SURE IF MY HEAD’Spounding from all the crying or the beer and two shots of liquor I had last night, but either way, I’m paying for it today, dearly. Cap’s been nice enough to leave me be, only talking about business. He’s a man of few words. I greatly appreciate that trait today.
I had to ask him to pull over a few miles back. My stomach churned as much as it could before insisting on a mass exodus. Finding my head in a toilet, again, at the nearest rest stop, proves me and alcohol don’t mix. I’ve never been a huge fan. Another gift from my father.
When I exit the restroom, Cap hands me a new toothbrush and travel-sized toothpaste. “You okay?” He pulls me in for a hug. Cap’s a good man. He’s younger than my father, but he’s been more a father to me than any man’s bothered to be. He’s gruff and rough around the edges, but his green eyes hold the knowledge of the world, and they have a soft spot for me. Plus, not many men would pull a woman reeking of puke into their arms.
“Too much to drink.” I leave out the broken heart part I think is contributing to my current state more than last night’s alcohol. I think it was whiskey. It could have been Drano for all I know, but I’m sure it wasn’t. You can’t swallow Drano and survive, right?
“We’re ahead of schedule. I got to the gym early, thinking I’d work a couple of hours before you sauntered in around nine or so. Go brush your teeth. We’ll stop for some breakfast and let you rest a while.” He turns me toward the bathroom door, patting me on my way. “See you in the car.”
A few minutes later, I slip in the car, feeling a little better, and thank Cap for the toothbrush and toothpaste he bought from the vending machine. Who knew they had that kind of stuff in vending machines nowadays? It’s a smart idea. Wish I’d thought of it.
“Gabriel called,” he mentions casually as he pulls onto the highway. When I don’t respond, he continues, “He said your phone must be off as it’s going straight to voicemail.”
It is off.
