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“Fucking… escaped!” A burst of shadows erupted from my core, slamming against the walls with an ear-splitting growl, the stone shaking and trembling under the force of my wrath until mortar dust rained down from the cracks. “This pretty Raven boy is going to catch you and string you up by your balls. I’ll even put a hook through your cock for good measure, and shove nails up your ass!”
The shadows recoiled, then came crashing back over me, a whiplash of my own rage, ripping my legs out from underneath me. My spine slammed against the cold, hard ground with a sickeningthudas darkness seeped back into me, sullying me, tainting me to the fucking core in a sludge that no amount of scrubbing could ever remove.
A groan wrenched itself from the depths of my lungs, only to morph into a long, drawn-out laugh. It echoed. This place was laughing back at me.
That sounded insane.
My laugh morphed into a chuckle—a hollow, dissonant sound that scraped my parched throat. Nothing about me was sane, or right, or whole, or decent, or clean.
Not anymore.
I lay there for I didn’t know how long, sprawled across the ground, the dank air heavy with the scent of mildew and months of sorrow. My heart thudded in my chest, gradually quieting to a murmur. My breaths followed suit, slowing but not deepening, as though even the air refused to get close to something as filthy as me.
I shouldn’t have come here.
A flicker of sensation surged within me—a bright speck of nothing at my core, resembling something akin to light with how my shadows shifted outward.
I knew this feeling; had first met it in this very place as a naïve boy, and later in that copse of trees as a man too broken to care. But I cared a great deal now, drawn to it like a crow to fresh carrion.
I wanted more of it.
Neededmore of it.
I pushed myself off the ground, my shadowcloth robes torn in places. My boots scraped against the stone floor as I followed a corridor that echoed with century-old shouts for Harlen. The winding stone stairs loomed ahead, each step a fight against the past clawing at my heels, refusing to let me go.
And maybe I would have collapsed on the stairs, waiting for Asker to find me and drag me out, wasn’t for how that sense of brightness lured me up into the light of the barbican.Where is she?
I lifted my hand, watching the plumes of shadows writhing between my fingers. Fated gifts called to one another, but none so quite as intensely as a void called to shadows. My little dove beckoned them, bent them, made them bow toward the gate on the left like a compass needle straining north.
Brushing the dirt off my sleeves, I left through the open gate, letting the shifting of ground seashells change into the crunch of snow. Three days ago, Galantia had set fire to Lady Brisden’s pyre, if only because the ground was too frozen to bury her the way humans did. After that, she’d retreated to her room, grieving, sleeping, crying…
All while in Sebian’s arms.
A mental picture that clawed at my insides—scratching, scraping—but not quite as violently as the memory of how she’d thrown herself at Sebian’s feet in front of the gallows instead of into my arms. Ah, where had this gone so utterly wrong?
When I had carved my sigil into her flesh? When I had choked her with my cock, my shadows, my hand? Or perhaps the day I’d ripped through her maidenhead with my fingers? When I’d told myself that I hated her, and that I needed to shatter her heart?
Mmm, so many possibilities.
The farther I ventured into the dormant orchard of perfectly lined trees, the more the bond ached in my chest, urging to be tied. And perhaps I would have already lured her into it, if only she’d left her room and ventured away from her lover. Like she had now, finally offering me—
My feet stalled.
There she stood, my beautifulanoaley, her hair even brighter against the backdrop of snow and her cheeks peachy from the cold. A shame I couldn’t see the color of her lips through the grayish haze that bled over my vision with how she’d pressed them to Sebian’s.
Kissing him.
Darkness shifted at my core—scratching, scraping—a shroud of obscurity enveloping my mind, choking out the light of clarity, blurring the edges of reason. How dare he kiss my mate? Intertwine his fingers with hers? Preen the brittle strands of her hair as he raked through them in a show foreveryonemanning the walls to watch!? I was going to fucking—
Control yourself!
My breathing flattened. Nothing but a reflex to take in less air, leaving more room for my shadows to lash at my ribcage with a violence that made sweat pearl around my temples. They’d been… vicious ever since she’d released her gift.
More so than usual.
I folded my hands behind my back, carefully breathing past the jealousy over a situation of my own making. I understood that, though my shadows, however, did not, threatening to overwhelm me—to make me do something truly regrettable.
To my best friend.
