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Shuffling caught my eyes, drawing my gaze to the balcony on my left, where the sight of a figure leaning against a stone column hardened my stomach. Ugh… why wasshehere?
“Lorn’s watching me.”
“Yeah, I noticed her hushing along the balcony for a while now. Ignore her, too,” Sebian said, as if that was such an easy thing to do, given how she’d attacked me—twice—and stared at me now. “She’s trying to size you up.”
Oh, sizing me up, was she? Well, that might not have worked out well for me a few months ago, back at Deepmarsh, when I’d known nothing, been nothing. But I was a Raven, same as her. Did I have powerful shadows like Lorn? No, I didn’thavethem, per se…
Apparently, Iatethem.
“Ready,” I said.
“Remember,” Sebian crushed the salt beneath his fist in quick succession, “only the ones in the middle.”
I waited as the shadows from the crystals bloomed into thick, swirling blackness, and raised my open left palm at it. Then, with a courage I was proud of, I opened my box, ripping the lid right off. My void gaped at my core, yanking any andallshadows into its unquenchable maw. The sudden suction knocked a crate off, and a communal gasp echoed all around me.
I looked at Lorn.
How was that for sizing me up?
She held my gaze for a second or a minute, her eyes flat with an odd disinterest that chipped away at my victory. Her red lips curved into a mocking, half-hearted smile. With a roll of her eyes, she turned away, disappearing into the heart of the keep. That… that was not what respect looked like at all.
Sighing deeply, Sebian shook his head. “That’s one way to challenge her for sure… one of the strongest, most ruthless deathweavers we have, who also happens to be obsessed with Malyr.”
“I can absorb her shadows.”
“And you might just do her a favor with that. Less work for her if her shadows clog your lungs faster than your void can take them in. Why would you do that when I asked you to ignore her?”
Because Lorn was a cold-hearted predator, and they smelled fear like bloodhounds. “She needs to understand I won’t let her scare and push me around anymore.”
“And you need to understand you’re holding a gift that most don’t trust, are the fated mate of the most powerful deathweaver, who also happens to be our prince. Not to mention, King Barat probably knows by now that you are the key to amplifying Malyr’s gift,” he said. “I don’t have enough arrows available to mark the many people who think you shouldn’t be alive. And what you did just now…? Well, that makes it tough on me to keep you fucking breathing.”
My molars ground together, the way his ears visibly twitched, making it clear he heard it. “Isn’t this why we’re practicing? So I can keep myself alive?”
“You want to stand up for yourself and wield your power? Fine. It’s giving me cold sweats, but… whatever.” He stepped up to me and cupped my cheek, his eyes fixed on my mouth. “Can you at least, for fuck’s sake, sweetheart… meet me halfway and not taunt death, hmm?”
I placed my hand on his, unable to hold his concern against him now that I knew how much he’d lost, and how caring for me might just return him some of his self-assurance. “Fine.”
“Fine.” He grabbed me by my scarf, pulling me against him until his smirk was inches from my mouth. “I have something for you.”
“What is it?”
“I told you I’m a simple man, so…” His fingers sank into the leather pouch on his belt, pulling a clanking bracelet from it with several chestnuts strung onto leather, which Sebian brought to my wrist. “I can’t promise you riches or lavish things, but Icanpromise that we’ll never starve so long as there are chestnut trees around.”
My heart gave a couple of additional beats at the gesture alone—the fact that I had my very first, true courting gift. “Those have to be the prettiest chestnuts I’ve ever seen.”
“Years of practice,” he said as he tied the leather string shut. “Are you aware you cleared the entire damn bailey?”
My gaze flicked from one abandoned half-carved flight hole to the next, the grin that spread across my lips probably of pure mischief. “They’re probably scared.”
His breath kissed my lips, sending a lovely flutter through my core, more violently when his hand settled on my hip. “Terrified.”
His lips descended onto mine in a heated kiss. His tongue explored my mouth, sending sparks of energy through my body. Tightening his grip on my hip, he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss as he walked me away from the center of the bailey.
“I love you,” he panted, his body pressed against mine. “Love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered, the words tumbling from my lips before I could even think, but it made them no less true.
I had loved him before he’d went north.
