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Seconds pass, maybe a full minute, before his cheek presses to mine as he says, “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to leave you.”
“Don’t,” I say. “Don’t.” But we both know he’ll have to. There is always a mission. There is always something that will divide us. More than we know right now. Of that I am certain.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Creed carries me to the living room and for the next minute or two, we right our clothing, straightening ourselves, me as best I can with no buttons on my shirt. We end up sitting side-by-side on the simple brown Army-issued couch, everything that has happened between us hanging in the air. But it isn’t awkward.
It’s just there.
Finally, I ask the question that has been on and off my mind all day, “What color were your eyes this weekend?”
He cocks his head toward me and meets my stare, the blue of his eyes so much bluer than I remember days ago. “Why are you asking me that?”
“Because I asked you to show me the real you.”
“I did. They were black. Now you see blue. You see me in my natural form.”
“I saw blue this weekend. It had already started.”
His gaze lifts skyward and he breathes out. “It had already started.” It’s not a question, just a statement, as if he’s trying to get his head around the idea. “I’m sorry, Addie.” His eyes meet mine again. “You will never be the same.” The rough quality of his voice is pure guilt.
I press my hand to his face. “Kind of poetic justice, considering what my father did to you, right?” It’s almost a confession of sorts. He did it. I know he did it, no matter what lies he’s told me.
He catches my hand in his. “I don’t want revenge on you, sweetheart. I just wanted you the moment I met you. Hell, the moment I saw you.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Same.” I twist around to face him. “They put the marked women in captivity some time back. Now the soldiers connected to them are with them. My father told me that he invited the soldiers to take part in studies, and they accepted. Ava Lane stopped me tonight and said it wasn’t like that. He tricked them. He captured them.”
“And you think he intends to do that to all of the GTECHs or at least the X2-positive.” Again, not a question.
“Maybe. I think I’m holding him back, but for how long? The White House wants to use you as weapons. He wants that to happen, to be the almighty king of the Army. I can tell he does, but he won’t risk losing control. He won’t risk the program turning against him.”
“He at least has to weed out the X2.”
“Yes, I think so, which is why I might have to tell him—”
“No, Addie. He’s colder than you think. Do not risk yourself for me.”
“We’re kind of connected now, Creed, but there’s more you need to know.”
“Tell me.”
“Look, before I tell you, this information means nothing. It’s a limited study that was not controlled properly. I think ultimately all it shows is that there is a trigger that can be removed and—”
“What happened?” he bites out.
“There were major developments in one study,” I say. “First, a marked rat got pregnant.”
His eyes go wide, and his jaw all but cracks with the way he clenches. “You mean we could reproduce? Fucking Julian could reproduce? Tell me no. Tell me that is not what you mean.”
“I wish I could, but it’s possible. Again, it’s a very small test sample and it’s rats, not GTECHs.”
His expression is all hard lines and his eyes blue fire. “What else?”
“X2-positive rats killed X2-positive rats, but that only means there was a trigger and—”
He’s on his feet now, running a hand through his hair, when he turns to me. “What if I kill you?”
“What? No. You are not one of those rats.” I’m on my feet now, too. “You are not Julian. There are differences between you and him and the rats. That’s what I was trying to warn you about. Don’t read into this. And no rat killed its mate. It killed another male rat.”
“I’m bad for you, Addie. And we know when these bonded couples separate, it helps ease the need to be together. I need to stay away from you.”
I swallow hard, fighting an insane urge to grab him and hold onto him, so much so that I have to hug myself to control my actions. “So that’s it,” I say, my voice raw and dry. “You’re just walking out on me.”
“I’m trying to protect you.”
“That again? Is that all there is between us now? You protecting me by walking away? I mean, I get it. We were like a sexfest this weekend. Now you’re being told you’re stuck with me. You’re not. That’s not what this is.”
