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I head for the brothel. I’m half listening to Maura behind me, so I manage to deftly step aside when she tries to grab my arm. She curses, and I give her a sweet look. “Do you always manhandle your lovers?”
“You’re not— This isn’t—”
Why do I have to keep poking her? It’s not going to give me the response I want. She couldn’t have made it clearer she wants nothing more to do with me, and yes, we had sex in her cabin, but it was goodbye sex. There’s a fractured sensation in my chest that will bring me to my knees as soon as I allow myself to feel it, but for now, this place is rife with distractions.
“Juliette.” There’s something dangerous in Maura’s voice. “If you go into that brothel, I will not be held accountable for my actions.”
“Are you listening to yourself?” I toss up my hands. “You don’t want me.”
“What gave you that idea?” Then she’s there in front of me, catching my hips and pulling me close. The feeling of her hands on me, even in this brief contact, makes me shake. I hate that it makes me shake. I hate even more the way her gaze catches and lingers on my lips as if she’s thinking about tasting me. “I’ve always wanted you,” she says roughly.
Liar.
I don’t say it. We’ve hurt each other enough to last a lifetime, even if the only villain is time spent apart and a world that says a princess and a pirate can never be together.
Fuck time and fuck the world.
I may be able to say that, but I’m only one half of the equation. Maura seems to have taken that rule to heart. I lick my lips, shivering when she follows the movement. “This only ends in pain. Let me go. If you don’t, I’ll end up hating you, and I don’t think I can bear it.”
Maura blinks and tightens her grip on my hips. “I’m trying to do right by you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”
That’s the problem. I don’t want a savior worthy of me or other such nonsense. I want her. It doesn’t matter how I say it or how we argue. She refuses to believe it.
Either that, or…
Or maybe it was never real for her, not in the same way it was real for me. Maybe I was the only one believing that wishes on stars could come true as I planned out a future where we were together and no one could keep us apart. Maybe I’m the sole fool who clung to that future even as the world tried to prove it for a lie.
She is one of the fiercest people I know. How can she be anything else when she’s effectively dodged the royal navy and created a fearsome reputation for herself in under ten years? If she really wanted to be with me, she would have found a way.
One failure wouldn’t have been enough for her to sail away and never return.
“You would have found a way,” I repeat aloud. “If you really wanted me, if it ever meant anything to you, you would have found a way for us to be together.”
Maura doesn’t answer, and it’s just as well. There’s nothing to say to make this right. Not anymore. We’ve both come too far.
I walk into The Bawdy Banquet with my head held high. Small round tables populate the main floor, most of them filled with people of every shape, size, and paranormal flavor. I even catch sight of a demon in the back corner, horns curving from their eye sockets and temples.
It’s a feast for the senses, and I fully intend to take advantage.
“Looking for something particular, my dear?”
I glance at the old woman leaning against the bar. She’s wearing a gown that seems too luxurious for this place, but who am I to judge? The years mark her pale skin with deep wrinkles, but there’s something timeless about her that suggests she’s not what she seems.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “It’s all a little overwhelming.”
Her eyes light up. “Fresh meat.” She grins. “I have just the thing for you.” Before I can respond, she snaps her fingers. “Nadia.”
A woman appears at her shoulder, a redhead so beautiful, she takes my breath away. Her skin is the kind of porcelain color that suggests it’s never felt the touch of the sun, and she’s busty in a way that would normally make my mouth water.
The old woman raises her brows. “Not to your taste? I have many people who work for me. Tell me what you like, and I’ll provide.”
I don’t know what it is about this stranger that prompts honesty from me again, but when I open my mouth, the truth emerges. “Normally, I would take you up on it, but I’m…” What? Not in a relationship. Not exclusive. Not anything. “It’s complicated.”
