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Which is when it happens.
Which is when I lose all sense of rationality, I think.
I lose all my resistance.
Not that there was a lot of it before. I was barely hanging on by a thread. But I still had some concept of right and wrong. I still had some concept that we shouldn’t do this.
But all of it is gone now.
Along with licking my tears off, he’s robbed me of all sanity.
And I grab his face and whisper my own apologies.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for lying to you. For keeping the truth from you. I don’t… I can’t… I can’t believe that I was going to do that. That I was going to take h-her away from you.” I dig my fingers in his cheeks while he rubs his open mouth all over the side of my face. “She’s yours. Just yours. And I’m sorry for provoking you. For saying his name.” He jerks over me, his own fingers tightening over jaw, my chin. “I-I was trying to make you jealous. I was trying to… I don’t know why I do that. I don’t know why I want you to suffer like you make me suffer. I don’t… I don’t know… You should make it so that I never do that. You should —”
He shuts me up with another kiss and this one I return without any reservations.
Like I wanted to do with his last one.
But it’s over all too soon and suddenly I find myself looking up at his dark eyes, darker than the night. Suddenly, I find my wrists trapped just like before and I want to get free. Not because I want to run away but because I want to touch him. I want to go back to feeling his dense and solid muscles, his smooth skin.
But I won’t fight him.
I won’t.
I don’t want to fight. I just want him.
“I should,” he rasps, his lips hovering over mine.
I lift my head, trying to capture them. “Yes.”
He keeps them out of reach though, as he says, “And how do you think I should do that?”
“I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t know what…”
“I do.”
“H-how?”
“With my dick.”
“Yes.” I nod eagerly, rolling my hips under him. “Just p-put it in me.”
“Tell me where.”
This, I definitely know the answer to. “In my mouth.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” I reply eagerly.
Coming down again, he rasps against my lips, “Tell me why.”
Again, I try to capture his mouth but fail to. “Because…”
“Because what?”
I’m breathing harshly, restlessly as I look up at him. “Because I said his name.”
His jaw clenches and a ripple goes through his body. “You did.”
I try again to reach him, his lips but to no avail. “Y-yes.”
“And just the fact that I had to kiss you on that same mouth to shut you up is pissing me off.”
“I-I know and I’m sorry. I —”
Another tic of his jaw. “Sorry doesn’t cut it though, does it?”
Swallowing, I shake my head. “No.”
“Sorry doesn’t make it okay that you said his name when I specifically asked you not to.”
“I know. I —”
“So then you’re right. I need to make it so that you don’t ever do it again. I need to make it so that no one else’s name comes out of that mouth other than mine.”
“Yes.”
“And there’s only way to do that, isn’t there?”
“Uh-huh.”
“It’s to make you gag on my cock.”
I swallow again, nodding. “Yes.”
His fingers tighten on my face. “It’s to make you fucking choke on it.”
“Yes. God, please.”
“The only way to get the taste of that motherfucker’s name off your mouth is to wash it out with my cum.”
I twist my wrists in his grip, my thighs clenching around him. “Yes. The only way.”
“And that’s because you’re my whore, aren’t you?”
I jerk under him. “I am.”
“My fucking whore,” he bites out. “My fucking property.”
“I-I am.”
“And no matter what you say, no matter how much you deny it, it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re my Firefly. Mine.”
I know he’s throwing my own words from earlier back at me.
I know I pissed him off by saying those things.
And I also know that I should argue with him about it right now. But as I said, my concept of right and wrong has completely cracked down the middle. I’ve gone as crazy as him in this moment and I don’t care if it’s toxic or poisonous or a train wreck.
I want him and I want him to do to me whatever he likes.
“O-okay.”
He grinds his jaw then, looking menacing as ever.
“So let’s go then,” he says. “Let’s get to fucking work. Let’s baptize that cotton candy mouth with my dick so it’s fit to be called mine again.”
With that, he gets up and away from my body.
He comes up to his knees between my spread thighs. Spread and wet and smeared with my juices.
So wet that my skin shines in the moonlight.
