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So far I haven’t been able to do much about it.
With my symptoms and his crazy schedule, I haven’t pursued this line of conversation. Plus I thought he needed to adjust to working with his brothers again, going to therapy that he still hates and never talks about.
But I can’t wait anymore.
I only have six weeks left with him.
I need to make every day count.
So when it looks like he’s going to step away from me, I hold onto him. “Actually, I do need something from you.”
I watch him go into his provider mode. “What?”
Watching a drop of sweat trailing down the side of his neck, I whisper, “I want you to kiss me.”
He flinches.
And tries to step back anyway.
I don’t let him go though; I latch onto his biceps with my fingers and lick my lips. “Until I can’t breathe.”
His nostrils flare. “You —”
“And then I want you to kiss me some more.”
“Tempest.”
“And keep kissing me until I’m dizzy with the lack of air.”
“Shut up,” he growls, trying to back away again.
But I go with him. “And I also need you to touch my belly.”
He shudders at that.
“Because you haven’t,” I keep going, feeling the flutters in my tummy. “And that’s not good, Ledger.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he manages to say and takes a small step back.
Again I follow him right back. “You need to touch it so our babies know their daddy’s touch. People say that it helps with bonding.”
His chest heaves. “Get away from me.”
“And I want that too.”
“Tempest, I —”
“I want you to touch me. It’s been so long, Ledger. It’s been weeks and months and I don’t know if I can bear it anymore.”
“I swear if you don’t stop talking, I’m —”
“And I’ve been very patient with you,” I tell him, again following him when he steps back. “I’ve given you time and not bothered you about this. Even though I have no clue why you’re being this way. I don’t know why you don’t touch me anymore.”
“Stop,” he growls, his jaw ticking, “talking.”
“I mean, initially I thought that maybe you wanted other girls,” he growls this time without words, making me pause, “but I don’t think you do. I also don’t think that you’re bored of me. And —”
“What?”
I bite my lip. “It’s a valid concern. What if all the, uh, ‘trying’ that we did made you feel bored with me and —”
“Well, it didn’t,” he says with clenched teeth.
“Okay.”
“In fact it did the opposite,” he mutters as if to himself.
“What’s the opposite?”
My question makes him realize that he’s said it out loud and he shakes his head once. “Doesn’t fucking matter.”
“But —”
“Now I want you to stop following me and let me go.”
“Can’t,” I tell him. “I’m your pretty little stalker, remember?”
I feel him making fists at his sides. “I don’t want to use force because —”
“I’m pregnant.”
His eyes narrow. “So you really need to —”
“And you’d die before you let something happen to me or to them.”
He leans over me then. “You know, I hate being interrupted and —”
“Oh, I know that.”
He grinds his jaw for a second before saying, “And if you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to have to take the kind of measures to shut your mouth that you may not find as enjoyable.”
I bite my lip. “I’m counting on that.”
He exhales sharply.
Going up on my tiptoes, I whisper, “But I think by now you should know that there are quite a lot of things that I find enjoyable. Including the kind of measures you take to shut my mouth.”
Another sharp breath.
Followed by a second and a third.
Before his mouth swoops down over mine and he does what I asked him to do.
Kisses the breath out of me.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The truck comes to a screeching halt and I thank God for it.
Because I don’t know how long I could’ve borne it for.
In fact the seconds it’s taking him rounding the truck to get to me seem much longer than they are. And then he’s snapping the door open and before I can make a move to climb out, he’s already picking me up and carrying me over to the cabin.
I know it could be his impatience — I mean, I am impatient as well — but somehow when he crosses the threshold with me in his arms, bridal style, it seems significant.
It seems like a big moment.
Which is ridiculous because he’s done this once before. The night I was running away from him and he caught me in the woods. The only difference is that that night I was so out of it, I barely knew what was happening. But today, right now, I’m very aware of everything.
His strong hold on me, his heat, my side pressed up against his chest.
His eyes.
That are not only locked with mine but are also dark and full of some unfathomable but intense emotions.
