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Oh yeah, the situation.
Well truth be told, it is kind of amusing.
So the reason we’re all gathered here today, at Callie’s house, is because Echo’s boyfriend, Reign — a very hunky and grumpy soccer player — won’t have sex with her. It’s not because he’s bored of their relationship. He can’t be; first, because they’ve only just gotten together like, a couple of months ago. And second, because he’s been wanting to get together with her since the first moment he saw her six years ago. But she started dating his best friend and so Reign backed off, thereby ensuring years and years of tortured pining on his — and turns out, hers as well — part.
The reason why Reign won’t have sex with Echo is because last time they had sex, they got caught.
By Echo’s parents.
Like actually got caught, almost buck-naked, doing it in her childhood bedroom, by Echo’s mother.
I mean, oh my God.
It led to a lot of parental drama and heartache and tears. It’s a miracle that they’re together today and that her parents somehow calmed down enough for Echo to date Reign. Whom they still don’t trust fully. And since it led to all the problems in their relationship, Reign, misguidedly, has taken it upon himself to prove himself. To her parents.
Which means no sex.
He says it’s for a little while. Until her parents start to trust him and this new relationship.
But man, it’s been like two months. And all they’ve done is some hand holding, some kissing and that is it. He won’t even take them to second base. And get this: they both live in New York, where they’re going to college. Echo is in her freshman year and Reign is a senior. So it’s not as if there’s any chance that her parents will even know that they’re having sex, let alone catch them in the act like before.
But still, Reign won’t budge.
Which is why since Echo is visiting this weekend, we all offered to help.
Jupiter brought makeup. I brought clothes and shoes. Callie brought or rather baked cupcakes and made butterscotch milkshakes; mine and Jupiter’s are laced with a little vodka while Callie is drinking a virgin since she’s breastfeeding. And Wyn, who also lives in New York with her boyfriend, brought moral support and her own diet soda.
Even though the situation is serious, we all can’t help but snicker a little.
And Echo’s frown becomes thicker, which she aims at Jupiter first. “I hate you.” Then, to all of us, “I hate all of you.” Then, just to Wyn, “I can’t believe that you’re laughing too. You’re the kindest of them all, Wyn.”
She’s right. Wyn is kindest of us all. She’s gentle and soft-spoken and she never ever laughs at anyone. She’s basically a saint.
Wyn purses her lips, muttering, “Sorry.” Then, “And you’re right, I am the kindest of all. So shut up all of you and let’s figure out what our next move is going to be.”
We all purse our lips then and try to get back to business.
Callie’s the first to respond, gently swaying Halo who seems to be falling asleep in her arms, still playing with her mommy’s hair. “I say you dress up like that on your next date and then you make the move.”
“Exactly,” Jupiter says. “At the end of the date, tell him to come inside your dorm room.”
“But he won’t go,” Echo says, her shoulders drooping. “He always just drops me off in front of my building and takes off. He won’t even come through the door, let alone go up to my room on the third floor.” A pause, then, “Well, first he insists that I go in, and when I do get inside, that’s when he takes off. Like a stubborn, hands-off bodyguard protector.”
“How about you tell him you need something fixed?” Wyn offers. “Like, in your room.”
“I’ve tried that,” Echo says. “I told him that I couldn’t open this jar of peanut butter and that I needed his superior strength skills. And he looked at me and told me to stop. And when I asked him, stop what, he said, torturing me, and then he just took off. He didn’t even wait for me to get inside and I didn’t even get my goodnight kiss.” She throws up her hands. “So basically I’m torturing him by trying to seduce him.”
“Well I mean, he’s not wrong,” Jupiter says.
Echo narrows her eyes. “What?”
“In the sense that if your seduction attempts were working, there wouldn’t be any torture. Because you both would get relief. But since so far you’ve failed, it is torture.”
Echo stares at Jupiter for a second before chucking a piece of cookie at her; oh, because Callie also made chocolate chip cookies. “Gee, thanks for the explanation, Jupiter Jones.”
The piece lands in her lap and she pops it in her mouth, grinning. “You’re welcome, Echo Adler.”
