Page 108 of Pine River


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He was still so tense. I rubbed my hand over his side. I felt bad that he was having to deal with my stuff, deal with his uncle on my behalf. I should’ve been gone by now.

“Does she need anything?”

“Space, probably.”

“Okay. Just, let me know. I’m heading to bed, but I’ll still be up for ten minutes or so.”

The door closed. Scout cursed before he moved. He kept a hand on me as he moved to switch on a fan, providing some noise in the background. As he turned to me, I could make him out in the soft glow of the lamp on his desk.

“Your mom?” he asked.

I frowned, moving back to sit against the wall. I had to remember what night it was. Wednesday. “She’s doing a double tonight.”

“She does a lot of them.”

I curled in on myself. That felt safe, making myself as small as possible. If only that worked . . . I frowned. “We need the money, and they’re short-staffed. I was going to get a job, but Kira’s been having us do Homecoming planning every day after school. My mom gets time and a half. She’s paying rent on that house. She didn’t want to move me into an apartment, thought I’d have trouble being in a small space with strangers around me—like in the hallways or the elevators.”

He cursed softly under his breath. “I didn’t even think about stuff like that.”

I closed my eyes. My hands were trembling.

“You want to sleep here tonight?” he asked. “I get up early to run, could drive you home then.”

I tipped my head back so I could really see him. His face was guarded, his eyes shadowed.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t becoming addicted to him, to his body.

Or to the feel of being in his arms.

I couldn’t tell anymore. I was all jumbled up inside.

But I was so tired, and I didn’t want to go home and be there alone.

Leaning forward, my forehead went to his shoulder. It felt like surrendering as I said, “I’d like to sleep here tonight.”

He smoothed a hand down my back. “You want the bathroom first?”

“You go first.” My heart was still stampeding through my chest. I needed some time.

The bed dipped as he got up, moving around the room before going into the bathroom. I stayed, curling the blanket tighter around myself. I heard Scout in the bathroom. The bathroom fan switched on. The toilet. He showered. A few minutes later, the sink was running. The bathroom fan turned off.

There was a murmur of male voices.

He was talking to his uncle, and I sat up, knowing my turn was coming if his uncle didn’t insist I go home for the night. I checked my phone and saw a bunch of texts from Gem and Theresa. A few from Clint. A couple from my mom.

Mom: I’m on my break. About to switch shifts so I have to give a report to myself. Haha! Love you, honey. Let me know when you head to bed. Did you get all your homework done? Ailes said you’re so vigilant with going home to study this week. I’m so proud of you. I don’t think I’ve told you that enough.

She’d not pushed the talk about Scout. She’d not pushed to know if I was still having sex with him, but I knew my mom. She thought she knew where I was every hour of the day, so she thought it had stopped.

If she actually asked, I’d tell her.

I needed to tell her. And that made me feel even worse.

The door opened. Scout came in, freshly showered and only wearing boxer briefs. He was holding a whistle and a green thing.

I frowned. “What are those?”

“They’re from my uncle.” He held the whistle up, handing it over. “For you to blow if you’re ever in a situation where you need to blow it.”

My stomach turned to lead, but I took it. “A rape whistle?”

“Yeah.” He held up the other thing, showing me how to use it. “This is pepper spray, and he also offered to give you some self-defense lessons if you want.”

A rape whistle. Pepper spray. Self-defense lessons.

I took both items. “Will you thank him for me?”

Scout nodded. “Yeah, but he’s not expecting it.”

I didn’t know what to think of that, but I stood to move past him.

“Hey.”

I looked back. He was holding up a new T-shirt. “If you shower.”

I took it and slipped into the bathroom, hitting the lock. I took a second to gather my bearings. This house was so male. There was nothing soft about anything. There was a barbell on the ground by the toilet as if it were normal to lift weights while they were taking a shit.

I shook my head and looked down, staring at the whistle and spray in my hand.

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