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I gave her a nod. But as I was putting my bag away and pulling out my phone and what I needed for my first class, I felt another presence at my side.
It was Alex. “You okay?” he asked. “For real? We wigged yesterday when you took off.”
I sighed softly and stepped back, closing my locker. “Clint didn’t say anything?”
He shook his head, his hands on his backpack straps.
I motioned forward, and we started for his locker. “He got home around five this morning,” he said. “I only knew because I’d gotten up for the bathroom, but this morning, we were all in a rush. Trent was interrogating him, and he said the pizza and wine part to shut him up. You know T. He’s worried.”
We got to his locker, or I assumed it was because he’d stopped there, but he wasn’t opening it. He also wasn’t looking at me. He let a deep breath out. “Just . . . that shit’s not going to happen here. You gotta know that.” When he finally looked at me, his eyes were fierce. “No way in hell. Okay?”
My throat swelled up, and I had to push down a huge lump. I nodded. “I know. I just . . . I have some lingering aftereffects, if that makes sense? I’ll work it out.”
He nodded. “We’re here for that too.”
The lump was back in place and getting larger. It was a good lump, an emotional lump, but I needed to handle this. Fast. I moved closer to him, dropping my voice. “Listen. What happened last year was a freak tragedy. I know it won’t happen here, and I am not going to start burdening you guys with the shit in my head. We’re in high school. You have your own shit to deal with, and no offense, but you guys aren’t therapists. I appreciate you being there—Clint last night and you this morning. And trust me, knowing you guys are here and you give a fuck is helping. But that’s all you need to do. The heavy stuff? That’s on me to handle, and I will. I’m not going to fuck you up by releasing my damage on you. I’d hate myself more for doing that.”
“You hate yourself?” he hissed. “After what that piece of shit did? You hate you? Hate that guy!”
His voice had risen.
People were looking.
I was going to try to deflate the situation when a fist hit the locker right next to Alex.
“Dude,” Clint said in passing. That was it. He hit the locker and kept on walking. Trenton and Cohen were with him. Both gave us a look as they passed by.
Alex seemed to remember where we were and cursed under his breath. He straightened up. “Sorry.” His eyes moved past me, and he stepped back, giving the same Cohen cool-guy chin-lift to someone. “Hey, man.”
I looked and wished I hadn’t.
Scout Raiden was standing a few feet back.
I glanced up and caught his gaze, but unlike yesterday, the frostiness wasn’t there. His eyes were dark. There were emotions there, but they were stuffed down, and I got the feeling I wasn’t supposed to see them. My whole body snapped to attention. I jerked my gaze away, flustered.
“I gotta find Gem,” I told Alex.
I started forward, but a hand caught my elbow and turned me the other way. “Locker six seventy-eight,” Alex said. “But she went to class. I saw her.”
“Oh.”
I heard a low whistle.
Clint was standing outside our classroom.
I moved toward him, and he lowered his head. “What was that about?”
“Nothing.” I sailed right past, going to our table and taking my stool.
Clint took longer to come sit next to me. His friends took their seats.
Then the teacher came in and announced, “We’ve had a few changes.”
That was all he said because I guess the details weren’t our business? I’d agree with that, but this affected me because I heard from behind me, “Mike, take Hector’s spot.”
Mike, the friend on the other side of Clint, grabbed his stuff and moved to the seat in front of me. Scout Raiden took Mike’s old seat.
The other adjustment?
Macon Rice took the seat where Scout had been yesterday.
Macon sat and wheeled all the way around and looked at me with a full, even stare before his gaze moved to Scout’s. Then, he smirked before turning back to face the front.
Scout ducked his head down, but I could hear him say, “He needs to get fucked up.”
Clint grunted. “We’ll help set that up.”
I turned to stare at him because, what?
What was I missing here?
8
RAMSAY
I asked Gem about it at lunch. We’d decided to go outside after we got our food.
She pushed open the door with her back, rotating with it and leading the way to an empty picnic table by the basketball court. “I’m assuming your cousins don’t know about your exchange with him in the office?”
