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“Fucking hell, Alex. I’m not going to hurt Ramsay, but I’m being honest. I can’t stop fucking her. I just know that too.”
He narrowed his eyes and held for a moment, as if thinking something through. Then he nodded and heaved a deep sigh. “I don’t like it.” He held up a hand, holding off anything I was about to say. “But I’m getting that you won’t actively hurt her. I swear to God, though, the second feelings come into play, you end it. The very second. We cannot handle watching Ramsay get hurt again. I don’t think you understand how on edge we all are. Me. Trenton. Clint’s the worst. I don’t even know what shit he’s been doing lately, but I know he’s doing something. I’m terrified. I almost lost my cousin. I can’t lose my brother.”
I frowned, but my phone was ringing.
That was Cohen’s ring.
I couldn’t wait any longer.
I was turning and answering at the same time, “I’m coming.”
41
RAMSAY
Traitor 1: Thought you should know about this. (link)
I had clicked on the link, feeling my heart trying to beat itself out of my chest, no longer paying attention to the storm still happening in the hallway.
I Was Manipulated, announced the headline of the article.
A male presence had come to stand by us. His low baritone voice drowned over my head, speaking to the others.
I took a step away, my chest hurting, unable to believe I was reading what I was reading.
Oh, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.
My ex.
My ex had written an article about how I’d manipulated him into beating me up and killing my father.
He was the victim. He was. Him.
I wanted to kill him. I wanted to eviscerate him.
I—no, no, no. I was sick to my stomach. My whole body began shaking.
No one was around me. I looked up, panicked, but people were going to their first periods.
I didn’t know where Theresa or anyone else went.
The hallways were emptying.
Doors were closing.
It was just me.
I read the article, not able to stop myself.
My hand was jerking so hard. I almost dropped my phone.
I’d been stupid, so very, very stupid.
I thought this would go away. I thought he’d go away. Eventually.
It wasn’t. He wasn’t.
He was always going to do this.
None of this was ever going to go away. Ever.
I shot to my feet and sprinted for the bathroom.
Tore through the door.
To the first stall.
I fell to my knees.
I emptied everything and anything that was in me.
And once that was done, I was throwing up bile.
I couldn’t stop dry-heaving.
42
RAMSAY
Shit went down today. When I left the bathroom, it was only because the last bell wrang and I had to force myself to stand. So I stood. I was washing my hands, had just wiped some vomit from the corner of my mouth when the bathroom door opened. In came whoever.
I didn’t see faces.
I didn’t think about names.
I wasn’t checking my phone.
I was in zombie mode, going through the hallways.
To my locker.
Getting what I needed.
To class.
My cousins were there.
They were talking.
I said whatever I said, I didn’t know. It was enough to appease them. I might’ve got some frowns. I might not have got some frowns.
I had no idea.
I’d think later that I didn’t remember seeing Gem or Theresa later.
Kira stopped at my locker one time. She was saying something about Homecoming.
I nodded, said whatever to her, and she went away.
Then on I went to the next class . . . and the next . . . and the next.
Books dropped down on the table next to me in the cafeteria, and Scout dropped down right after. “Yo.”
I exhaled a ragged breath, looking away. “Not today.”
Wait.
I hadn’t seen him all day, and this morning. Amalia.
“Are you okay?”
He raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Amalia. The image. Are you okay? Is she okay?”
He snorted, eyeing me. “Surprised you care. According to Alex, you’ve been incommunicado all day.”
I frowned. “Have you been gone all day?”
His eyes narrowed, his eyebrows pulling down. “I’ve been at the police station with Amalia and Cohen. I got brought back here because my uncle realized I actually didn’t need to be there. Heard crazy shit happened here too.”
Yes.
Also, I had no idea what the aftermath had been.
I frowned, more to myself. “Theresa and Gem went crazy about the picture, and then . . .” I didn’t know.
Scout was waiting for me to finish, but at my silence, his head lowered. “Rice fucked up. He used the school email system to send that pic. Kira told me that he’s been expelled. Pretty sure there’s something illegal about what he did, which the school will bring charges against him for so their ass won’t get held responsible. Bottom line, we don’t need to worry about that dick being back. That’s what.” He leaned closer. “Have you not talked to your girls?”
God.
My girls. Gem and Theresa.
