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I have to wear long shirts, otherwise they will all see.
These next few weeks should be fun.
Not.
Love, me.
I rubbed my eyes, and skipped almost half the book seeing as my stomach was leaden. I flipped until the pages stopped turning, landing on one that must’ve been flipped to multiple times.
Dear new me,
Repeat after me: I do not require the validation of others to justify my existence.
I found out today that my boyfriend, Benji, is in love with my sister.
I told him I loved him, and he told me that I would never be the one for him. That, unfortunately, he was in love with Caristonia, and there was no way around it. He couldn’t keep pretending to be in love with a washed-out version of my sister.
So we broke up.
Now, Benji is going out of his way to call and text Caristonia, and I’m going out of my way to make sure that the asshole can’t make contact with her. If he calls her, I call him and tell him to leave her alone.
It’s looking kind of bad on my part—everyone thinks that I’m obsessed with him and won’t leave him alone—when it couldn’t be further from the truth.
I don’t know what else to do other than what I’m doing.
Not love,
Me.
Benji definitely needed to be added to the list of people that needed to go.
As in, wiped off this Earth, never to be heard from again.
Not to mention, now that I read that particular journal entry, it made me wonder if Benji could be Caristonia’s stalker.
It would make sense.
I made a mental note to get a background check ran on him, and possibly run the possibility of the stalker being Benji by Hades, then flipped to the next most visited page.
And was unsurprised to find that it was the one that she’d given me the journal for.
Dear diary,
I did it.
I finally did it.
After years of this, I did it.
I stopped reading and thought…this is the one.
Then went back to reading.
I caught him in the act. Walked in and heard the young girl saying ‘no’ and decided that it was time to take matters into my own hands. For years I’d taken this abuse, allowed this to happen to other people because if it was happening to someone else, it wasn’t happening to me.
But today I just…snapped.
I did it.
I walked in there and interrupted him in the act.
I felt sick to my stomach, and didn’t want to read anymore.
But I forced myself to do it anyway.
Usually when he does it to me, I’m tied to the bed with zip ties.
The first time he’d tried to go with ease and used rope, and obviously he didn’t see the girl he was hurting as much of a threat. Otherwise, he’d have learned from the mistakes he’d made with me.
Her hands were tied high above her head with purple rope.
I remember thinking at the time that it looked beautiful against her skin—mine always looked mottled and gray when he used the zip ties—as I made my way into his bus.
His back was to me, but her eyes were solidly locked on my moving form as I made my way closer and closer.
She was pleading with me to help her.
I had to look away from her eyes as I kept walking, wondering if I could do it.
For this to look like an accident, I’d have to choke him out first.
That meant I had to hold on tight, and hope that he passed out before he killed me.
I couldn’t let go.
I had to do it like this because he had to overdose or something as to keep the suspicion away from one of us.
It had to look like he’d done it to himself, or it was a death of natural causes.
Either way, I had a plan for both.
I hadn’t decided at the time how, exactly, I was going to do it. Mostly because I knew that he would hate appearing weak to the world—that was why I wanted to make it look like he’d killed himself.
But the easier way would be to inject him with something.
Dad was known for making us go out and forage for our own food. It was just his bad luck that I’d found poison hemlock just a few yards away from our camper.
It was also his bad luck that I made sure to locate this plant every single time we parked somewhere, just in case I got the courage to play God.
But enough was enough.
It was going to happen.
That was what I told myself when I walked up behind my dad.
I had one chance at this.
Which was why I changed my mode of how to get him to black out.
Remembering what the guy on YouTube suggested for the fastest knockout, I walked up behind him and enacted a hit to the back of his ear.
