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Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Then church was over. I was so excited about being alone with Frank, I could hardly wait. I leaned over to Frank and whispered, “Follow me.”
I grabbed his hand and headed out a side door. I didn’t want to get in that crowd and take time to speak to the preacher before we could get out of there. I told Frank I was starving and that the lunch basket was full of sandwiches, fruit, sweet tea, and banana puddin’.
Frank picked up the pace, and we ran out back, way up the hill, and stopped under the big oak tree. He said, “You stay here, E, and I will get the basket. I can dart around all the people and be back in a flash.” He was tearing off his suit coat as he ran to the car.
I found us a good flat place to spread out the table-cloth. As soon as he was back, he started raiding the basket. I smacked his hand and said, “You gotta wait until I set it all out. This needs to be done right.”
“Okay, okay,” he said as he spread out the picnic cloth. He lay on his back with his hands behind his head just watching me. I liked it when he watched me, so I took my time getting all the food out. Once I was done, Frank reached over and grabbed my waist. He pulled me next to him and said, “You were the prettiest girl in that church. I am glad you are mine.”
I let myself fall over next to him, but kept my back straight and strong. “What do you mean I am yours? I don’t belong to you, I belong to myself,” I said.
“Dadgummit, E, you know what I mean. I know I’ll never own you, but I really like being with you. And you chose to be with me. That is all I meant,” he argued.
Looking into his blue eyes, I could tell he was a little hurt. I said, “Yeah, I do choose you. Now let’s eat.”
For what must have been hours, we ate and talked. We shared stories we hadn’t talked about before. I told him I’d been thinking about how hard it must be for my momma to raise four girls by herself. He tilted his head just a bit—the way he does when he is thinking seriously. Then he asked, “E, why did your momma have to do it alone? What happened to your daddy?”
I told Frank all about that day we heard the news. Momma raised us four Nash girls in the house her brothers built. She had three little girls and another one on the way when our father left for the war. Just after Caroline was born, Momma learned our father was not coming back.
It was a hot Indian summer that year. Dianne and I were sitting outside on the porch drawing pictures and trying to stay cool. Caroline was crying up a storm, and I could tell Momma was fit to be tied. There was a girl named Lila that came a few days a week to babysit and do some chores. Lila was in the house helping Momma with the baby. Annie was in the yard playing with sticks and prickly seed balls under the sweet gum tree.
A black Model T car drove up to the house and a man in a uniform got out and started walking to the house. I stood straight up and yelled, “Momma, come here quick. Somebody is here just like came to Mrs. Elliott’s house.”
It was strangely quiet inside. Caroline was not crying and no one was moving. As the man got to the screen door and knocked, I was frozen. He called out, “Mrs. Nash, may I come in and speak with you?”
Then I heard Momma’s shoes shuffle on the wood floors. She slowly walked to the front of the house. When she was in the hall and could see outside the screen door, she stopped dead. She stared at the car like she really couldn’t see it. The veins in her forehead began to poke out, like she wasn’t breathing. After a moment, in a screeching voice that I had never heard from her before, she yelled, “NO, you cannot speak with me! Not if you have one of those letters! I won’t take it. You can’t tell me nothing about my James!”
I could see through the screen door that Lila was holding Momma with one arm and Caroline with the other. It was like she was holding Momma upright and without Lila, Momma would fall over. Lila gently helped Momma move to a chair in the front room, right by the hall. Momma sat down but was rigid. Lila looked toward the man at the door and in her soothing voice said, “Sir, you can come in. Just give us a minute.”
I sat down on the porch stairs, not wanting to go in. I could see Momma through the front room window. The man walked slowly into the house. I couldn’t hear what he said, but I heard my mother scream and cry at the same time. Tears burst out of her eyes like what comes out of the well when you pump real hard. I had never seen her like that before and haven’t since. I could see her shoulders heaving as the man handed her a letter. Lila took the letter and said to him, “Thank you. You can go now. We will read this together.”
After the man drove away, Lila said to me, “Ethel, go get your sister.” While all this was going on, Annie had run away from the house.
I ran inside and hugged my momma so hard I thought I might break a rib. Then I took off to get Annie.
By the time Annie and I got in the house, Momma was sitting quietly with the opened letter on the table beside her. She was drinking a cup of coffee. Her eyes were swollen, and her face was blotchy red. Annie started shooting questions too fast for anyone to answer. “What’s wrong with Momma? Why is she crying? Did you hurt Momma, Lila?”
With Caroline in her arms, Lila walked over to Annie, put her finger on Annie’s lips, and softly said, “Shhhh and we can tell you.”
Dianne, Annie, and I sat on the floor beside Momma, and she began to talk. She was calm and breathing normal, like when I hugged her every morning. “You were right, Ethel. That was the same man that visited Mrs. Elliott. He brought us a letter just like he gave her.”
Hot tears sprung out of my eyes. “What did the letter say?” I demanded. Momma put her hand on my shoulder.
“It is from the War Department. It says your father fought bravely in battle. He was killed but suffered no pain.”
I was so angry I rammed my fist into the wall beside her. My voice was loud and full of anger. “He suffered no pain? The heck with that! We still have no father!” Momma did not even flinch at the almost cuss word. She knew I was right. We all knew everything had changed with Daddy dead.
After I finished telling Frank about that day, I saw his beautiful blue eyes were filled with tears. I moved closer to him, and he put both arms around me. “Oh, E, that must have been so awful. I am sorry.” And he kissed me. And I kissed him back. No more words were spoken. Just holding each other and kissing. We stayed up there on the hill way past dusk, getting closer and closer like we were just one person. Then we took off most of our clothes and did something I never had done before.
I told Marie the best thing about loving Frank was making her.
NOVEMBER 1927
Frank
The Big Announcement
