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“Don’t go there. Someone becomes a puddle of tears.” Ben smiles with his eyes glued on Hunter.
“I can’t help it. Watch when you have kids. One minute they’re babies the next they’re leaving. God, I hate crying." She fans her eyes. "Please change the subject."
“I’ll call Mateo when I get to my office.”
Hunter nods. “Ben, Alex’s going to research the global expansion.”
“Great. Let me know if you need a hand.” He adds.
“I’ll have this handled in no time.”
“I have no doubts. But if it becomes too much, promise you’ll walk away.” Her eyes are stern.
“Yes, Mother Hunter.”
“I’m serious. You were a different person with him.”
“What do you mean?”
Mateo and I kept our relationship between the four walls of my apartment. He met the guys and spent time with them, but I never went into detail. We all were dating and adjusting to life outside the sphere of our parents.
"Let's go, Jo. Zoe will fuss like her Mamma Jo if the food gets cold."
Hunter wags her head walking into the hallway. “Who wants to spend time slaving over a stove to serve cold food?”
“Hunt, what did you mean?” I place a hand on her arm.
“Give us a second.”
"I'll give you five. I need to get something from my office." He kisses her cheek, and Hunter waits for him to enter his office.
“Alex, you laughed more, you let your hair down, you stopped caring about your mother’s wants and wishes. You stopped hiding. You were different.” She gathers my hands in hers. “I knew the moment you two broke it off. The moment he boarded that plane to New York, he took a piece of you with him.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
"Part of me wonders if we should have asked more questions. You've never been open about your relationships, but when he left, you changed." Her lips are tense around the words. "I want you happy, Alex. Truly happy. Not trapped in the life of your mother's making."
“My mother has nothing to do with it.”
“Lying doesn’t change the truth.” Her quick retort surprises me.
I step closer, forcing myself to remain calm. I avoid conversations about my parents for a reason. "I know you mean well, but…"
“Call it mother’s intuition, advice from a person who loves you, or a gentle nudge from your boss. What if you walked into the new year embracing the amazing woman you are? All of you.”
“Ready?”
We face Ben over her shoulder. Emotions swirl into a sinking knot in my stomach. My unsettling thoughts concerning Mateo. The bomb dropped by Hunter. The phone call I agreed to make knowing the moment I hear his voice I'll remember all the reasons I love him and all the reasons I can't have him.
“Have a good night?” I force a fake smile on my face and a chipper tone in my voice. “I’ll see you guys Monday.”
“Alex…Alex…”
I walk off, closing my office door, unable to breathe deep enough to chase away the sting of her words. All of me. What does that mean?
Hunter doesn't understand. No one does. The duality inside me, one championed as Black Girl Magic and hashtagged as melanin. But the other always made to reflect a sense of wrongness and shunned by my parents and grandfather.
I drop in my chair and flip the magazine face down.
