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“It’s a miscarriage.” There was no levity on the doctor’s face, but I wanted to laugh anyway.
“You’re kidding.”
“No, I’m not, ma’am.”
I poked a finger in my ear and twisted it around to make sure I’d heard clearly. “There’s no way I had a miscarriage.”
He tilted his head as if to say ‘and where are your medical degrees?’
I ignored the look and insisted, “I’d have to be pregnant first and I’m not pregnant. You have no idea how careful I am about protection. I’m not ready for kids. I might never be ready. And now you’re telling me I had a kid and lost it?”
“Ms. Robinson—”
“Portia!” I slammed my head back into the pillows cushioning the hospital cot and squeezed my eyes shut. “Please, just call me Portia. Ms. Robinson was my mother.”
I felt the doctor’s unease as he said my name, “Portia, I’m only sharing the results of your examinations. According to the scans, most of the pregnancy tissue have passed, but there are still some left inside the uterus.”
It felt like he was talking another language. A woman couldn’t be pregnant and not know. How was that even possible?
“No, you’re wrong.”
I heard him sigh and then the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor chased it. His voice was soft when he spoke. “Portia, I know this is hard for you. Is there anyone we can call? Maybe a loved one or the father…?”
The father?
I scoffed angrily, more annoyed with myself than with him. “The father was a one-night stand. We didn’t exchange numbers.”
At the time, it had seemed like a good idea to act on my lusts, go with the flow and have a night of hot, unbridled debauchery.
Bar Guy was a drunken mistake. One I had no plans of repeating. Nothing like waking up naked next to a man you don’t know to reassess life’s priorities.
The sex was great though.
“Oh.” Doctor Kelly nodded.
There was no judgment in the word and yet I instantly went on the defensive.
“I don’t normally do that. Sleep with men I don’t know, I mean. We were at my best friend, Imani’s, bachelorette party in San Pedro. There were these guys that kept sending us drinks and one of them was super hot and we just had this vibe, you know?” My voice climbed. “I swear, I didn’t think things would get this complicated.”
“Portia, hey.” Doctor Kelly bobbed his head, emoting understanding through his clear blue eyes while still managing to remain professional. “It’s okay. No one’s blaming you.”
“I know. I just wanted to clarify.” I felt small and eased lower in the bed so I could hide my body beneath the sheets.
“Is there anyone else you’d like to call?”
My dad flitted to mind but I rejected the thought. He’d only worry when he found out I’d gotten pregnant. I didn’t even want to imagine his disappointment when he heard about the Bar Guy who’d impregnated me.
Maybe later. I’d deal with him later.
I could call Imani, but she’d be at work. Apart from my girl, there wasn’t anyone I’d want by my side right now.
“No. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“I can take care of myself. Please continue.”
He studied my face for a long tense moment. I wondered what he was thinking.
