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Deacon was in his office when I mounted the last step. He saw me and stood, his green eyes locking on my swimsuit. “How was the water?”
“Fine.” I wasn’t in the mood for casual conversation and strode right past him to my room.
When I left to go shower, Deacon was just leaving his room across the hall. He stopped when he saw me, his body leaning forward and jaw muscles flexing. I sensed that he wanted to say something, but was glad when he didn’t.
Reid was in his arms. Despite the heaviness in my heart, I mustered up a smile for the baby’s benefit.
“Good morning, Reid.”
He rubbed his eyes. Brown hair lay mussed over his forehead and his little mouth opened in a wide-yawn. He wrapped his pudgy hands around Deacon’s neck and rested his head on his dad’s shoulders.
I pointed to the bathroom. “I’ll take a shower and then make breakfast.”
“It’s fine. I’ll take care of it,” Deacon said.
“No, I’ve got it. I’m sure you have more important things to do.” Like plan your next murder.
He pulled his lips in and stared at me.
Choking from the tension and discomfort, I swiftly turned and strode to the bathroom. Breathing was not an option until I locked the door behind me. I sucked in a deep breath and wilted against the sink.
When I finished my bath and walked to the kitchen, I smelled bacon frying. Annoyance tightened my throat. I stalked ahead and waited for Deacon to turn around. He did, his expression sober.
Folding my arms over my chest, I hissed. “Do you think I’m a joke? Or is my opinion worth a pile of dung to you? Why the hell…” I heard my voice climbing so I stopped and glanced back at Reid. The baby was playing with a laundry basket, pushing it around like it was a sled. I squeezed my eyes shut and composed myself. “Why are you doing this?”
“Let’s talk after.”
“No, let’s talk now. I don’t want the lines to be blurred any more than they already have, Deacon.”
He set the prong down and faced me. “I love you.”
“That’s…” I cringed. “Why would you blurt that out?”
“The moment I saw you,” he nodded, “I saw my future and it was everything I’d ever wanted, everything I could never allow myself to hope for.”
“Deacon…”
“My past is a part of me. I can’t wipe it away or pretend it never happened. And trust me, I wish I could. When I close my eyes,” he did and I saw an expression of pure anguish cross his face, “I think of all the sons and daughters that lost their fathers because of me and it… I’m a monster, Angel.” He shook his head and looked at me. “I was hoping you’d never find out.”
“But I did, Deacon. And the sad part is, you’re not the one who told me. It took a crazy lady strapping me to a chair to get to the truth.” I tapped my chest. “I can’t be with someone who lies to me and I can’t…” My voice broke. “I can’t be with a killer. It goes against everything I believe in. Everything I stand for.” The answer slammed into my mind then. “I want to leave the island.”
Turning back to the frying pan, Deacon flipped the meat and said nothing.
“I’ll pay back the loan. Every penny. No matter how long it takes. ”
Deacon kept quiet.
I backed up a step. “I guess I should go pack.”
He grabbed a plate and slid the bacon into it. “I guess you should.”
I ran back to my room and threw everything I owned into a suitcase. When I returned Reid was in his playpen, but Deacon was nowhere to be found.
I pulled Reid out and pressed a kiss to his sweet cheek. He continued playing with his dinosaur, not even looking at me.
This was the right decision—I was finally making one—but leaving Reid was like tearing my heart out of my chest. We’d spent so much time together that I’d gone and fallen for him.
Just like I’d fallen for his father.
