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Inhaling deeply, I reach for the phone and send her a message.
HANSLEY: Still at the office. Might be here all night.
ASIA: Oh, no.
HANSLEY: You should get some rest.
ASIA: I can stay up until you get here.
HANSLEY: Doubt it.
ASIA: Is that a challenge?
HANSLEY: If I show up and you’re sleeping, what do I get?
ASIA: The satisfaction of being right.
Despite all the crap swirling through my head and the panic in my heart, I smile. Asia’s this bright spot blasting through the clouds in the night. She’s silver moonlight and a universe of bright, glittering stars.
Do I deserve her?
Hell no.
But am I letting her go?
Hell. No.
I can’t see her tonight.
Can’t look her in the eyes the way I’m feeling.
She’ll know something’s up.
We’ve gotten that close that she can start to read me.
I refuse to take the chance.
It’s just not worth it.
HANSLEY: Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.
She doesn’t immediately reply.
I wonder if she’s angry. Or annoyed.
Is she staring at her phone with that little wrinkle between her eyebrows and her eyes narrowed to slits? Is she pressing hard on the mattress, pretending it’s my neck? Or is her bottom lip between her teeth, being rolled around because of her nerves?
I wish I could hold her.
Hell, I want nothing more in this moment than to drive over and hug my wife.
But I can’t.
I’m pregnant. Svena’s voice plays an infinity loop in my head.
She’s having my kid.
She’s having my baby.
