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Amelia
I’mpossessedbyademon. At least ifThe Exorcistis any indication of vomit levels, that’s what’s happening.
Who knows? Maybe she wasn’t possessed at all. Maybe she was pregnant and couldn’t stop puking.
Wait, was she a kid? I haven’t seen that movie in a long time. And I need to stop thinking about the puking scene now because…
I groan as I lean over the toilet again.
This sucks.
I was fine until last night. Conveniently, right when Miles was getting ready to leave, it hit me. He made sure I was stocked up on bland, easy to make foods, but here I am nonetheless. Already running late. This is great.
Feel better.
I close my eyes tight and take a deep breath, but apparently willpower can’t overcome pregnancy because I puke again.
There can’t be anything left.
Though I dry heave one more time, my stomach settles after that. Actually, I’m fucking hungry again. What even is pregnancy?
I rest my head against my bathroom wall and close my eyes, taking deep breaths in and out. Tears stream down my cheeks as I wonder how the hell I’m going to manage this, and then think the words I hate.I wish Miles was here.I can’t be relying on him like this already. This is insane.
“Amelia? Ames? Shit, what’s wrong? Are you sick?”
I flash my eyes open to see Dani looking at me with concern.
Right, we’re riding together today because we’re both going to AB Construction.Though I work for JWAC Consulting, I’m technically an independent contractor, and I spend a day at AB every so often going through legal stuff and contracts for them. Dani works there as an interior designer.
I shake my head and she sits down next to me, confused.
“I’m pregnant.”
Her eyes get huge. “With Miles?” I nod. “Wow. Congratulations.” She wraps her arm around my back and rests her head against mine. “Now tell me how I can help.”
I sniff back tears. Great, crying is my new norm. Add that to the list of things I didn’t realize I was signing up for. Of course, when I signed up for an IUD, I thought I was signing up for the opposite of this, so…
“I don’t know. I feel awful. I’m exhausted. Panicking. I have no idea how the hell I’m going to manage all this. I wanted to go to law school.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I look at her. “All I can think about is everything I have to give up. Which in turn makes me feel horrible. I want this, but—”
“Shh,” she whispers, rubbing my back. “You’re allowed to feel all the things. Even people who try for months and are overjoyed to see that positive test feel that way. My cousin Taylor wanted nothing more than to be a mom her whole life, and she really struggled to adjust. First to being pregnant, then to being a mom. She thought for sure she’d stay at home but ended up deciding to go back to work. You’re going through a million physical and emotional changes right now. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and burned out. For the record, becoming a mom doesn’t have to stop you from achieving your dreams. My mom had Wes right after she graduated from college. She took the rest of the summer off and went to grad school in the fall. You can still do all the things.”
“I love you,” I whisper. I seriously got so damn lucky with her. I can’t imagine how much lonelier my life would be if she hadn’t waltzed in and filled it with color and sunshine. That’s what Dani does.
She kisses the side of my head. “I love you too. Is there anything I can do? Anything that helps?”
Before I can stop my traitorous mouth, something slips out. “Miles.”
Her eyebrows shoot up, but then she smiles. “I take it he’s being supportive?”
“Supportive is not nearly a strong enough word. It’s honestly so overwhelming, and I’m afraid to trust the sincerity of it.”
“As someone who once felt the same, I can tell you that you can find the truth in two places—your gut and his eyes. You have a good read on people, so if you think you can trust him, you can. And you can’t completely hide a lie. Look into his eyes. They’ll tell you the truth.”
“He comforts me,” I admit.
“That’s a good thing.”
“Not when he isn’t here.”
