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I swallow hard. I’d be mad at her for telling him, but I’m too happy he’s here to care. I wish his arms didn’t comfort me so damn much because now I miss him more when he’s not here, and he’s not going to be here full time for several weeks. Even once he is, that doesn’t guarantee he’ll behere.
“I don’t know how I’m going to do everything. I wanted to go to school and become a lawyer. Right now, I can barely get off my couch. I don’t want to give up my entire life. Then I feel unbelievably guilty because I want this baby.”
He grazes his fingers down my arm. “There’s nothing wrong with any of that. And you don’t have to give up on your dreams. I don’t want you to. Maybe don’t apply to law school right this second, but there’s no reason you can’t once the baby is here and you’ve recovered. We’ll find a good daycare or nanny, and it’ll be fine. You can have whatever future you want.”
I sniff back tears. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being here.”
“Don’t thank me for that. I’m here for you, but I’m here for me too. I was going crazy worrying about you. If I could, I’d drag you back to the lake house with me and make sure you were taken care of in every way. That’s all I want to do.”
My stomach whirls, and I’m not sure if it’s pregnancy-induced or because of the simplicity of his words. He just wants to take care of me.
“I think we should come up with a plan for these nights when we’re apart,” he continues. “If you’re open to it.”
“I am.”
“Okay, good. So, I’ll send you a list of when my games are, so you know. Those nights we can video chat beforehand, and if you’re still awake, I’ll text or call you after. On nights when I don’t, we can video chat after my practice is over or after dinner, whatever you prefer. I just have one request. Don’t lie to me anymore. If you’re having a bad day, tell me. I can’t always be here, but I can talk you through it.”
I stare up at him for a moment. I never know quite what to do with his sincerity. Maybe because I’m worried one day it’ll fade. I feel like I’ve known him for years, but we don’t know each other that well at all.
“Do you have the answer to everything?”
He chuckles. “Definitely not. I wish I did, though. It would make my life much easier.”
“Miles, what happens when you move back?” I ask, forcing the words out. He never seems to hold anything back, and though there’s a lot he doesn’t know about me, I shouldn’t be holding back, either.
“What do you mean?”
“Are we—going to live together?”
He shifts so he can get a good look at my face. “Do you want to? I—I’d love to be in the same place with you every night, but you’re the one who put the brakes on this. I fully respect that, and I don’t want to push you, but…” He sighs. “I might’ve been looking at bigger places during one of my more boring classes today.”
“Bigger places?”
“I thought… since we haven’t made any decisions about our relationship yet and we’re still getting to know each other better, we might want separate bedrooms, plus one for the baby. With my salary alone, we can afford something bigger and nicer. I know you love this apartment, but it’s going to get cramped with a baby. I figured moving earlier on in your pregnancy would be easier, but all of that is up to you. Controlling things is what I do, but I don’t ever want to control you orus.Whatever us means at any given time.”
Where did he come from?
I thought he was a unicorn, but now I’m wondering if he’s an alien. It’s hard to believe guys like this actually exist.
“Ames?”
Right. He said things to me.What do I want?
I wanted him with me this morning. I feel better with him here tonight.
“I’d like to live together, but I do like the idea of separate spaces, so we can… grow into this.” Tears fill my eyes again as I let out a heavy breath. “I want us to grow into something more, eventually. I just need time.”
“I know, babe. I’ll give you whatever time you need. Tomorrow, I’ll send you some of the places I saw. Tell me what you like and I’ll make some appointments for the next couple of weekends.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, trying to express my gratitude for so much in those two little words.
“Like I said, you don’t need to thank me. I’m in, Amelia. No matter what our relationship status is or what we have to figure out, I’m in.”
I laugh and his brow furrows.
