AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“We love you too, bud,” Rae says. “Go take care of your girl. And let us know when we can text her congratulations.”
“Will do. Night.”
They all say goodbye, and as I walk out the front door, a realization hits me in the gut. It’ll always be the six of us, but my life is changing now to being the three of us. Amelia, me, and our baby. I’m going to have my own family now.
I wasn’t expecting my life to go this way, and it’s mind blowing how quickly it’s all changing, but I’m proud, too. Even if it’s not when or how I planned, I’m getting the things I wanted out of life, and that’s fucking exciting—even if it is terrifying, too.
Amelia
How is there absolutely nothing to watch on Netflix?
I mean, there are thousands of options and yetnothing.
Maybe I’m a cranky bitch.
Or a hormonal one.
For the thousandth time in the last twenty-four hours, I have theholy shit I’m pregnantrealization all over again. The reality is still setting in. All the ways my life is changing…
I’m going to be a mom. It’s something I always wanted to do, but I sort of thought I’d sow my wild oats, go to school, and become a lawyer, then use a sperm donor and have a baby in my thirties. No man required, just his tiny swimmers.
Now I’m twenty-four. I’m done fucking around—for multiple reasons. One because the idea of screwing a guy when I’m pregnant with another guy’s baby is a massive turn off. The other because screwing a guy who isn’t Miles makes my vagina—and possibly heart—cuss me out at the thought.
I was going to say yes. The woman who had categorically sworn off love—not just for a little while or for my twenties, but for life—was going to say yes to dating a guy who has utterly captivated me.
Ugh, Dani was right. She’s the most amazing friend in the world, and I swear she just sees through people—and their bullshit. Although, based on what I know about her family, it’s somehow written into her genetic code. I gave her this whole speech over a year ago about how I’d never fall in love and my potential soulmate wouldn’t want love either. She told me that sometimes it isn’t our choice. It just happens. Damn it all, here I am a year later.
I’m not in love with Miles, but I think it could happen for us. Which is why I put the brakes on. I can’t risk that now. I can’t risk my pregnancy hormones letting me make the wrong decision, and I can’t let my underlying feelings for Miles take over while I’m pregnant.
Sure, how I feel for him might not be a choice, but how I handle those feelings is. And for now, the way to handle them is to not. I need to settle into being pregnant before I can revisit my feelings for him and what we should be. Even though he’s made it clear, he’s not going anywhere.
We’ll see.
People say a lot of shit they don’t mean, then bail when life gets hard. In many ways, this is probably the best test we’ll ever get if we’re meant to have a serious relationship.
Either way, love isn’t something I’m looking for right this second. I have a tiny person I need to focus on loving first. Everything else… we’ll figure it out.
Until then, I’m trying to get used to Miles taking care of me, without learning to rely on it too heavily. He won’t be here full time for another month, but beyond that, there’s no guarantees he’ll be here full time at all.
I grumble and violently toss the remote control on the table.
Fucking Netflix.
I need a distraction. Or some food.
The universe must be paying attention to my thoughts because the door swings open, and Miles walks in. Apparently, we’re past the knocking phase. I suppose that’s fair since we’re in theknocked-upphase now.
“Hey, babe,” he says in that deep voice of his, instantly pressing myhorny as fuckbutton. The feeling is quickly overridden by hunger when I smell the burgers, though.
I enjoy a good smoothie and well-rounded meals most of the time. On occasion I’ve been known to have expensive taste—especially when it comes to seafood or steak. But there is nothing on this earth as comforting as a McDonald’s cheeseburger when I’m stressed and starving. Which suddenly I am. Starving that is. Stressed is my base state these days, though I’m sure Miles will tell me to stop being stressed because it’s unhealthy for the baby, then he’ll book me a massage.
A rush of hurt hits my heart for a moment.That’s what Dad would’ve done for Mom.
I push it away as fast as it came and take the bag from him.
“Hi. Thank you for this. It smells amazing.” I don’t wait to dig into the bag. Literally. I’m pawing through this shit like a rabid raccoon. “Fries?” I mutter, setting them on the table.
“I know you didn’t ask for them, but they’re my weakness.”
