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I narrow my eyes. Mom. Two sisters. Three female best friends and then a fourth in college. When they say they’re fine in that tight, slightly too high way, it’s evident everything is not fine.
I’m not trying to generalize. Guys do the same thing, but it’s more of a grumble.
“That wasn’t convincing. And you seem off. Distant.”
“Well, I’m going through a lot of changes and processing lots of things right now, and it’s not always easy.”
I hate when she talks like that. She gets this almost robotic tone with a hint of sass.
“You know you can talk to me, right? I’m here for you, whatever you need.” I hoped we were past this point in our relationship—holding back—but it seems like we keep circling back to it.
She nods. “I know. If—when I’m ready to talk, I will.” She looks over at the TV, which is playing an episode ofSweet Magnoliasthat I know for a fact she’s seen several times.
I take her chin between my thumb and pointer and guide her head back so her eyes meet mine. “Don’t put up walls, Ames. I’ll just have to climb over them and that’s more work for everyone. I appreciate that you’re going through a lot, but please don’t shut me out. I love you.”
Her eyes get glassy for a second, but she blinks it away, then nods again. “I love you too.” She gives me a gentle kiss, running her finger over my jawline as she does. “Have fun with the boys. I’ll see you later.” She quickly teases the skin of my neck between her teeth, then lets me go.
I’m still not convinced she’s doing okay, but I can tell pushing her right now will only make it worse.
I give her one last kiss, tangling my fingers in her blonde curls as I do. When I pull away, I rest my forehead against hers, twirling one of her curls around my finger while resting my other hand on her beautiful growing bump. “Don’t get into too much trouble with the girls.” My brow furrows and I look down.
“Seems like she’s ready to cause some trouble.”
Holy shit.
I press my hand more firmly against her stomach, feeling the thumps of our baby girl. Amelia has tried several times to get me to feel the baby kick, but each time she’d move or stop or it wasn’t hard enough for me to feel.
“That’s incredible.” I sink to my knees and lift Amelia’s shirt, kissing across her stomach, still feeling those subtle thumps. “Daddy loves you, sweetheart. Be good for Mommy.” Amelia runs her fingers through my hair, and after one more moment, I stand up. “See you later, my incredible girl. Superwoman. Love you.”
She smiles softly and waves as I walk out of the apartment high on life.
I just felt my baby girl move for the first time.
“I thought this was guys’ night, not beard check in time,” Jesse says.
“It’s always beard check in time,” Trevor says with a laugh.
“You just want to beat Aaron,” Joel says.
They could easily go on about beards for an hour and I wouldn’t care. I’m in my own world remembering how it felt when my daughter kicked. It’s all I can think about. Well, that and how I want to get back to my girl so I can feel it again. Though things have been a little off with Amelia lately, for that moment, everything was perfect.
“Dude, where did you go? Are you having a nice dirty dream?” Jesse says, snapping his fingers in front of my face.
“No dirty dream.” Fuck, I cannot hide my smile right now. Not that I want to, but I also don’t want to be insensitive to Aaron. Though he and Rae are healing, and Rae says she wants to hear about this stuff, I’m sure it still hurts.
“What then?” Joel asks. “Because you can’t wipe that stupid smile off your face.”
I glance at Aaron for half a second, and he reads me like a book. “Hey. It’s okay to talk about Amelia and the baby. I’m okay. Promise.”
I nod slowly. “Okay. I got to feel the baby kick for the first time tonight.”
“Dude, that’s awesome,” Jesse says.
“I’m sure that felt amazing,” Aaron says. Though there’s some wistfulness in his eyes, he seems genuinely happy otherwise.
Trev glances at Aaron for a second, then smiles. “Damn. I can’t wait to feel that for the first time.”
My mouth drops, then I laugh as Jesse and Joel whip their heads to look at him.
