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I settle in for the two-day drive, planning to drive right through, racing from my worries and my heart, from them, not knowing if we can ever be together again.
* * *
“I wondered when I would see you again.” The familiar southern drawl settles all my nerves and I collapse in my seat.
The two-day drive was long. I parked in my car and kept my face hidden. The gunshot wound hurts, but I’ve had worse in my past, and I keep it clean and dressed and take the medication, so that’s all that matters.
My eyes are drawn to the view around us, making the last few days all worthwhile.
My seat faces the dock and water, and I look out at the view that healed me. This place brought me back to life and gave me reason to fight. Turning my head, I meet the blue eyes of the woman who gave me this place.
Vinette.
Wrinkles crowd her smiling eyes, her tiny eyebrows gray in her age. Her lips are tilted in a crooked smile, and her gray hair is curled back away from her face. She wears a perfectly pressed sundress, her body both lithe and muscular even now.
One look and I want to cry and laugh. “You knew I’d come back?”
“I’m not a fool, Reign Harrow.”
My eyes widen. The whole time I was here before, she never once called me by my full name. I never even told her what it was. I liked being anonymous here. I liked being just Reign.
She grins like she knows my thoughts. “I always knew who you were, child, even then. I have a TV.” She winks.
“Then why . . . ,” I whisper.
“Everyone comes here for a reason,” she murmurs. “Me included. I had a feeling there was a reason you ran to this tiny town, so I left you alone.” She looks at me sadly. “Are you okay?”
“No, not one fucking bit,” I admit, my lip trembling as tears form in my eyes. I stare back out at the water, gripping the arm of the chair. Nothing has changed here. Not the tiny road signs, the dirt roads, or the way the water touches the sky as if kissing it.
It makes my heart unravel and the tears fall.
As usual, Vinette lets me work through my thoughts, never pushing. I rented the cabin, which is behind us, when I first ran away. Something about this town called to me when I drove through it—call it fate or just an empty gas tank, but I stayed a night. That night turned into two, then three. Something here made me relax, and then one morning, I saw Vinette out here, enjoying the sun in the space between the cabins, and I just sat down. The one I rented used to be her daughter’s.
We didn’t speak for a week. We just enjoyed the peace together.
When we did, though, she always saw the truth and had a way to help me deal with my thoughts and feelings. I came for the peace, but I stayed for her wisdom and friendship—one that didn’t ask for anything, that didn’t need anything, that just gave.
“I thought I was so strong,” I say, and as usual, the words pour out. When I glance at her, I try to blink away the tears. “I thought I was so fucking strong, but I feel so weak. I fell in love, Vinette. I fell in love so hard and they were perfect, everything I’m not. I thought I could be what they needed, and that I wouldn’t need to depend on them, but all my bravado and talk, the great rock princess, Reign Harrow . . .” My gaze returns to the water. It’s so calm, unlike the raging in my heart. “And I’m still the scared little girl hiding in the dark from her father, unable to protect my little brother.”
“Reign—”
“I couldn’t even keep myself safe. I couldn’t even fight back when he came for me. They had to save me time and time again and I let them. I let them hurt me and lie to me because I was so desperate to be fucking loved, to feel safe and protected because I’m so fucking weak.”
“Have you finished?”
I snap my mouth shut and glance at her.
“No offense, Reign, but that’s bullshit.”
My mouth drops open. It’s the first swear word I’ve ever heard her use. “What?” I stutter.
“You heard me, child. It’s bullshit. Everyone needs someone sometime. No one is ever as strong as they pretend to be. Everyone fears something. You are so much more than that scared little girl.” Taking my hand, she squeezes it. “It wasn’t your job to save your brother, Reign, and it wasn’t your fault he died. You need to forgive yourself, child, because we both know he does. You were a kid, Reign.”
I bite my lip, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“And you grew up into an amazing woman. A kind one. One who brought me breakfast every morning, who helped me make sweet tea because she knew it was my absolute favorite. Who helped Ned from down the road fix up his roof because his back hurt without complaint. It’s not great public acts that make us, Reign, but the small ones. They show who we are, especially when your life isn’t in front of a camera. I know you. You are a brilliant woman. You’re smart, talented, beautiful, kind, loving, and yes, you’ve been hurt. You let it harden you, but you were growing and learning. Don’t ever call yourself weak again. It is not weak to retreat. It takes great strength to acknowledge you’re struggling and pull back to deal with it. Reign Harrow, this world is a complicated place, and as for love, there is nothing more complicated than that, but I’m betting those men never once cared that you leaned on them. I’m betting they loved it because they love you. How could they not? It’s time, Reign.”
“Time?” I mumble.
