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“Is this because I didn’t reply to your texts?”
I take a deep breath and shake my head. If I respond any other way, I’m likely to spill my guts to him and the last thing I need is for him to know how jealous I am of Maria. And how angry I am at him for being with her instead of me.
“Everleigh…” My hearts stutters at the sound of my name on his lips.
Shit.
Until this moment, I didn’t think hearing him call me anything other than his pet name for me was better. But the amount of care laced in each syllable… does something deep inside of me.
“I want to go to bed, Kohen.” My throat feels thick with unspent emotion and words.
“Not until you tell me what’s bothering you.” His hand on my skin feels heaven. I resist the urge to lean into it to relax against them. I wish having his hands on me meant something more, something deeper.
He’s made it clear he isn’t interested in feelings. He isn’t interested in exploring things with me. I should accept that fact and move on, but something keeps pulling me back.
Right now, for example, he can’t let me walk out of the room. He refuses to let me go. I don’t understand why it fucking matters to him if something’s bothering me. For a man who says he doesn’t enjoy playing games, it sure feels like he’s a master of cat and mouse.
My grandmother always said I had an old soul. I was too mature for my young age, too observant of the world around me. I understand what she meant now.
I might be young, but I’m not going to allow him to use that against me any longer. I might be inexperienced in life, but I’m not going to allow that to hinder me from the life I want. Whether Kohen is part of the equation, I’m done playing this game.
I won’t hold back anymore. I’ve spent my life surviving. It’s time for me tolive.
And it’s time for Kohen to face the truth.
Swallowing the hard lump threatening to choke the life out of me, I let the tears, the frustration, the anger out. “You are what’s bothering me right now,” I grit between my teeth and stare into his eyes. “This club is what’s bothering me. This world is what’s bothering me. That bitch you just fucked is what’s bothering me.” I watch his eyes grow wide, and he stumbles back a step, but i I’ve come too far to give now. “No. You don’t get to run away this time. You asked me what was wrong. Now you can stand here and listen to it all.”
“Wildcat—”
“Don’t fucking wildcat me,” I hiss, squaring my shoulders and infuse whatever courage I have left into my spine. I have spent the last nine years of my life in hell. I’m done ignoring my wants and needs. “You don’t want me—I get it—I hear you! But I need you to stop pretending like you fucking care about me.”
“I do care—” he starts, once again trying to cut me off.
“Bullshit!” Kohen flinches and for a moment I revel in the shock buried in his brow. “If you fucking cared, you wouldn’t have shut me out tonight. If you fucking cared, you wouldn’t have let me shut you out. If you fucking cared, you would have told me the truth before you made a big deal about me being off limits to the rest of the Jackals.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Maria. If you had simply told me there was someone else from the start, we could have saved ourselves all this frustration.”
“There is no one else, Wildcat.”
“You don’t have to lie, Kohen. She told me. Though I didn’t believe until now.”
“I was in the gym burning off some steam, and before that, I was in the surveillance room with Code.” He crosses his arms, looking down at his nose at me. He told me about the room for his IT guy, his brother. It was down the same hall. “There was some new information about the wolves. He wanted to go over with me before we called a meeting with the guys tomorrow.”
“Shit. I forgot,” I whisper, feeling the wind go out of my sail. Maybe I jumped to the wrong conclusion regarding to his relationship with Maria. Or maybe he doesn’t want me talking about his business. Then again, he isn’t mine to question.
“You forgot,” he scoffs. “Jesus, Everleigh. What the fuck do you want from me?”
“You,” I shout before I can stop myself, my conviction puttering away with each word. “I just want you, Kohen.”
“We’ve been down this road already. I told you—”
“Yes, youtoldme. You didn’t let me weigh in, didn’t let me have my say. You decided for both of us, and you have been doing so since the night we first got here. You treat me like a child, Kohen. I get that I’ve lived a sheltered life compared to you—”
“That’s the thing, Wildcat, your life wasn’t it sheltered. It was controlled, and you were fucking tortured.”
“Don’t you think making this decision for me is control? Torture, even? You might not be using your fists, Kohen, but you’ve already got my heart, and it’s fucking torture the way you keep rejecting it.”
