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“That’s okay. The bedroom you’re staying in now will be yours, so do whatever you want with it.” This is so freaking awesome.
I decide to share my own news with Yara. “There’s something I need to tell you, too. I applied to a world-renowned pastry school in Paris. I don’t know if I will get accepted or anything, but if I do, I’ll be in Paris while I take classes.”
“You mean we’ll be in Paris because there’s no way I’m letting you go to Paris by yourself! I’ve actually never been, either. It’s on my bucket list. I guess we should be really happy that I can work from wherever the hell I want to. Shouldn’t we?” Yara wiggles her eyebrows and giggles.
“Yeah.” This is so awesome. I never thought this was the kind of stuff Yara and I would ever talk about or do. We never really knew what we wanted to do with our lives, but look at us now. Everything is falling into place perfectly.
Yara and I hang out for a little bit longer, and then I go get changed. Rolando takes me into the heart of Grozny to where the Grozny Hotel is, and I meet my adoptive mother inside their restaurant. She’s already been seated, and Rolando walks up with me but veers off to a nearby table.
“Who is that?” my adoptive mother asks as I take the open seat across from her. She hasn’t met him yet.
“That’s Rolando. He’s my security guard,” I tell her, and she looks him up while he sits at the table a few feet away.
“Mmm, so, they’ve really accepted you into their inner circle?” Her tone makes me feel like she’s taking a dig at me.
“Why wouldn’t they?” I’m not trying to be so aggressive, but there’s some part of me that feels like I need to be.
“You weren’t around them growing up, Xava. I thought they might think you’re an outsider, or maybe you might grow bored of being with them by now. I actually came here to ask if you’re ready to come home.”
My mouth falls open in complete shock. “Sorry, what?”
“I’m trying to figure out if you’re ready to come back to Prague. We have a life there. Your siblings miss you. Your father misses you.”
That’s bullshit, especially the last part. My father always looked at me differently, and when my paternity came out, I finally understood why. It’s because I wasn’t his daughter, and he knew it. My entire life, he treated me differently and tried to act like he didn’t.
“I don’t know why you think I’d go back to Prague.” I’m blown away by what she’s saying, honestly.
“Really? People are trying to kill you, sweetheart. You aren’t meant for this life. It doesn’t suit you.”
Okay, I’m not staying here for a moment longer. I get up from my seat and look right at her. “You didn’t want to come here and catch up with me. You planned on bullying me into agreeing to go back to Prague. Newsflash—it’s not going to happen. I’m very happy here, Mother. I’m where I was always meant to be. If there’s somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be, that would’ve been with you in Prague. I finally know what it means to be with family, and I thank you for raising me and keeping me safe… but at the end of the day, I know all I’ve ever been to you is a job. That’s all I’ll ever be.”
I don’t let her say another word and walk out. Why would I want to hear anything else she has to say? It would just be another lie or another way she could try and manipulate me.
I was really hoping this conversation could have gone better, but it didn’t. Instead, it was a waste of time, and I don’t know if I’m ever going to have a good relationship with her ever again.
I know I shouldn’t be in shock because of what just transpired, and my phone ringing only takes my worries about the situation away. I dig for my phone and answer it without even looking at my caller ID. “Hello,” I say into my phone.
“Xava, it’s been a while.”
I almost drop the phone. It’s Dominika, my friend whom I haven’t heard from in a very long time. “I’m so surprised. You haven’t spoken to me in weeks. You’ve ignored my calls. Ignored my texts. What’s going on?”
Is Dominika even a real friend to me? That’s something I’m still trying to understand. Yara has been by my side through everything, and I thought Dominika and I were close … but now I can’t be too sure. What kind of friend ignores you for weeks on end?
“I’m sorry. I was going through some things and needed some time. I… I’ve been going to therapy and decided I should come right out with it, so I’m going to do that. I put up a wall between us because I was starting to view you as more than a friend, and I don’t know if I can continue being your friend when I look at you in a different light. I’m just being honest. I felt like it was better to remove myself from the situation entirely, so I did that. I know you don’t. I mean, I know you’re not attracted to women, so I needed to cut the cord, and I’m calling because I at least owed you an explanation. Therapy has made me realize that.”
Holy crap. I knew it had to be something big for Dominika to want to no longer speak to me, but this is so crazy. I never expected this.
“Wow. That’s a lot to process,”
“Yeah, so I was just calling to let you know that’s why I haven’t been communicating. I don’t want anything from you. I just wanted to give you answers because I know you, and I’m sure you have been wondering why I went silent on you.”
She’s right, and I have. “Yeah, I was curious.”
“That’s why. And as much as it might not be the best thing to do, I think I should stop speaking with you, at least for a while. Communicating with you would just make me want you. I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Before I can say another word, Dominika has ended the call. I stand here in complete shock for a few moments before I decide to call her back, but I get a generic message that the caller cannot be reached.
She blocked me.
