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“It was scary.” Cobar’s admission surprises us all. Not that he was scared, but that he was willing to say it. “Even now, sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to channel my powers to the barrier around the kingdom. It’s a lot of responsibility.”
Silence stretches between us all for a long minute. A minute where we’re probably all thinking about the days that lead up to taking over for our fathers. And then, another minute where we’re thinking about Cassia. The thing is, she doesn’t have to protect the kingdom. The strength of our bond will make our fight easier, but we’ll still be the ones doing the fighting. This shouldn’t be scary for her in the way that us taking over was, right?
“She got four princes, it’s a blessing,” I say. “Anyone would be lucky to have us.”
Sulien turns to me. “Did you really think talking about your dick and all the women you’ve been with would convince her to marry you?”
What? Is that what I fucking did?
I try to replay the moments we found out Cassia was our mate. In my stupid head, I’d just seen myself as a sexy prince and her as some maiden grateful to have me. I’d pictured how smooth I was and what a great impression I’d been making on my future wife. But then, my perspective starts to adjust, seeing Cassia as a woman worried about marrying me.
He’s right. Dammit. I led with my dick. That’s not how you talk to your wife and the future queen.
I could have been softer.Fuck.I didn’t think at all whenever I was around her. I was so busy trying to impress her I didn’t stop to think how she was actually feeling.
If she ran, I don’t blame her. I’d run too.
We all manhandled her at the solstice. The way I chased her down to touch her… I cringe now thinking about it. Anyone would be terrified by our actions. Then, add the idea of being forced to marry us on top of that? I’m nodding now in understanding and disappointment.What the fuck did we do?
“Do you think she ran?” I ask Sulien one last time, already knowing what I believe.
Seeing everything through her vision, she’d be smart to run. No sane woman should want to marry a man like me, but if she would have just given me a chance, I would have shown her differently. I would have been the best husband she ever imagined.
But she wasn’t willing to give me that chance.
I hate myself.
After a moment, he sighs. “My gut says she didn’t run away.”
“What makes you say that?” I ask, feeling like the lowest of the low.
“She’d never leave her family. They’re all she has, and not marrying us would ruin their lives.”
I frown. “Ruin their lives?”
He looks at me like I’m stupid. “If she doesn’t marry us, they stay living a life of poverty. And since she was the only one working, the future for her grandmother and father would be bleak.”
I remember her talking about a lack of food in her house and hadn’t put it all together.Damn it, I’m an idiot.The worst part is that whether she agreed to marry me or not, I’d have taken care of her family. Even without her, meeting them showed me they were good people. I wouldn’t have allowed them to go hungry. And the fact that they are tied to her? That makes them my family too, whether or not she marries me. She’s my mate forever. It’s that simple.
“But are you sure that would be enough motivation for her to stay?” Cobar asks, looking concerned. “Did she maybe see this as an opportunity to run from all of her responsibility?”
Sulien shakes his head, a slight smile on his lips. “She loves them more than she loves herself. She might want to escape her marriages, but she’d do anything for them.”
And the way he says it, I believe him.
So, she could’ve run, and had every reason to run because of us, but she probably didn’t because she’s loyal to her family. I can see that about her. I believe that about her.
Zane clears his throat, drawing all of our attention. “Do you think she only wants to marry us just to help her family?”
It’s like a punch to my gut. Wait. No. She’s our mate. She has to feel this overwhelming connection to us. The need to be by our side has to be as great as our need to be by her side. She can’tonlywant to marry us for her family’s sake.
Suilen runs his hands through his long black hair as if frustrated. “Possibly. But she also might just need time to process all these changes.”
Gods, I hope so.
“She’s our mate, guys. She should be feeling awful like we are because she’s connected to us,” Cobar reminds us, speaking my thoughts aloud.
My shoulders droop. That’s what should be true, but nothing about any of this is making sense.
