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Her eyes are so brown. It is a pity that the skies are red here. I’m sure her brown eyes would look so much more beautiful against a background of blue skies and bright sunlight. She’d be radiant in a place like New Solas.
I shake that thought away, too, and I force myself to focus as Elia pulls away from me so suddenly that she nearly slams into a tall, angry-looking demon behind her.
I grab her before she can knock into the demon, who seems to have smoke curling from the snout on his face, because I am quite sure that if she did that she would start another war.
“I need to go,” she whispers, and her voice is hoarse. Before I know it, she is weaving her way through the throng of demons and gorgons in the bar.
“Elia!” Vylco makes as if he is about to go after her, but she disappears so quickly that we cannot even see where she has gone.
“I can’t believe she just… left.” Vylco says disappointedly, five minutes later. “I wonder what that was about. She was fine and then… not.”
“Maybe she just wanted to go home.” I say as nonchalantly as I can, even though my mind is spinning more quickly than a black pitter bird – one of the fastest creatures to live on Ikoth.
Something frightened her. Something real. She doesn’t look insane. Something, or someone, frightened her.
I decide this as Vylco orders us another round of drinks and then sits down. He is still grumbling about Elia’s sudden disappearance as the barmaid, a pretty matron demon, comes over to us with our drinks.
“You need to stop drinking.” I tell him sternly. Vylco simply shrugs me off.
“Maybe it was you,” he says, and his voice is light as he swallows half a pint of ale in one gulp. “Maybe she just found you repellent. She did practically run out of here when you offered to walk her out, remember?”
Vylco’s voice is light and filled with mirth, but I cannot help wondering if what he is saying is the truth.
He isn’t wrong. She did jump away from you when you offered to walk her out. Maybe she’s afraid of you. Maybe that’s why she has been uncomfortable all night.
I remember then that I spent most of the night talking about my time in the military. I hated my experience in the military, and I know that not every citizen of Aerasak, especially Ikoth, is a fan of the military.
Maybe Elia is one of those people. Maybe she doesn’t think that fighting for Ikoth, fighting the xaphan, is an honorable thing to do.
Neither do I, if I’m honest. I didn’t always feel that way, of course. Once, before I joined, it seemed like a noble enough calling. I used to think that joining the military would bring me the fulfillment, the pride in myself, that I have been craving my entire life.
My disillusionment came on quickly and violently.
I wouldn’t blame her for being disgusted by me. By my time in the service. I am disgusted by me. I did unspeakable things during that time.
“I need another drink.” My voice is heavy and low when I speak. Vylco, even as drunk as he is, notices the darkness in my voice immediately.
And, instead of ordering me a drink, he claps a large, heavy hand on my shoulder.
“Listen.” His voice is so low that I have to lean in to hear him. “Don’t dwell on the war. It is over now, I hope. You are an honorable demon. And out of all the demons I have ever known, all who claim to be honorable, you’re the first honorable one I have met so far.”
I laugh mirthlessly. Again, the group of demons at the back of the bar cheer loudly.
I ball my hands into fists and clench my jaw to stop myself from marching over to them and dumping their bucket of mead all over them.
“Yes.” Vylco’s voice has become philosophical and I know that if I don’t stop him now, he’ll never shut up. “Honor is a rare trait among demons. Just know that you are fine as you are. The war was unfortunate, and it took too much from us. But you aren’t any worse of a demon because you fought in it.”
Vylco and I settle up with the barmaid then, because we have both realized that we have drunk too much.
And as we leave the bar, I cannot help but look around us. I scan the streets of Sarziroch, as if I expect to see Elia standing there, waiting for me.
Will I ever see her again?
9
ELIA
Ipush past the patrons, filled with rage-induced strength as I fight my way to the exit. Even though I’m much smaller than everyone else in here, I’m stronger than anyone ever guesses me to be.
