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I do not remain composed very long, and I roar the words. Elia jumps, and for the first time since I’ve met her, she looks really frightened.
Her right hand goes to her belt, and she stumbles away from me.
She’s got a weapon there.
The reason I came to question Elia in the first place is because of her mother’s ties to the xaphan. Now that I know her surname, I am more convinced than ever that she is a spy.
She hasn’t tried defending herself, either.
“You’re a spy.” My voice is surprisingly soft. Elia’s mouth sets into a grim line.
The more I think about it, the more sense it makes.
She showed up just when this mission started. That’s why she was in my files that one night. That’s why she is always pushing me away and hurrying off.
“You’ve been using me all along.” I snarl the words and stride up to her. She steps away, nearly tripping over her own feet, but she isn’t fast enough.
I grab her by the arms.
“You’re a spy, and you’ve been using me all along! Did they send you? Did the xaphan send you?” I bellow the words, spittle flying, and Elia ducks, her eyes closed.
Let go of her. She is shaking.
“I’m not a fucking spy!” she says, her voice sharp as a whip when I push her away.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” I tell her. I’m going to get the truth out of her tonight, whether she wants to talk or not.
Being in the military taught me many ways of interrogating the enemy, and I have never had any problems using those methods on civilians.
“They sent you, didn't they? To get intel on my mission? To get intel on the military’s movements?”
But would you really be okay using those interrogation techniques on Elia?
I picture it then. Elia, strapped to a chair, her face bloody, her lips broken, her eyes swollen. Something in me goes sour and a lump rises in my throat.
My skin feels flushed and warm suddenly. I shake my head, shaking the image of Elia, broken and bloody and in pain, away.
“I’m not a spy!” My anger is explosive. But Elia’s is seething. Measured. Elia’s anger is patient and buried deep, and I am quite aware then that she is filled with lots of ugly things.
“Stop lying to me. It is in your best interest to cooperate. Maybe then my general will be gentle with you when he kills you.”
My voice has become dull and lifeless and all the anger has been zapped out of it. Because now that I know she is a spy, I also know that I have to turn her in.
But do you?
“You’re crazy! I’m not a fucking spy!” she screams at me. “What have I learned from you about your military? Have I ever asked you anything? Have you ever given me any information I could use?”
“Nothing else makes any sense, Elia!”
“I don’t care what you think about me! I’m not a spy, and I’m not going anywhere with you! I’m not talking to you about this any longer!”
“Do you really think you have a choice?” I ask her softly. I move so quickly then that not even the most skilled xaphan soldier would have seen me coming.
Before Elia knows it, my hand is on her mouth and my other arm is wrapped around her waist, and I am carrying her away.
* * *
We reachmy apartment quickly enough, although Elia certainly didn’t make it easy. She kicked and bit and elbowed every part of my body that she could.
