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I pick up a pen and spin it around my finger. It’s a trick I picked up back in college, and I still do it sometimes when I’m feeling nervous. And I’ve got some pretty good reasons to feel nervous right now.
I know what I have to do, but I don’t want to do it. I sit there, spinning the pen back and forth and doing my best to work up my courage.No more hiding. It’s time to actually deal with this.
I stand up, open the door, and walk down to the principal’s office. Her secretary nods at me as I walk in, to find her looking over a paper before signing it.
She looks up and smiles. Ms. Greene has been the principal as long as I’ve been at this school. The two of us don’t run into each other much, but she’s always been there whenever I’ve needed her.
“Hey. I was wondering if I could have a few minutes with you and Coach Hill to talk about a personal matter.”
She looks pretty surprised by the whole thing. All of it’s been floating around in my head for so long that I had kind of forgotten how weird it would sound to another person. “It’s all a little bit complicated to explain. There’s been a lot going on.”
“Well, I’d like to help you,” she replies hesitantly. “Could you maybe give me a slightly better idea of what kind of discussion it is you want to have?”
I think about everything I have to say. The trashed office, Jaromir, the secret admirer… All of it is so interconnected. As soon as I try to explain part of it, the rest is going to have to come out, one way or another.
I decide to try a slightly different approach.
“Would it help if I promised you that this meeting will probably be the hot goss of the school for the next week or so, minimum?”
Ms. Greene cracks a devilish grin. “I can give you a few minutes for that.”
“Okay. Let me get Coach Hill, and I’ll explain everything.”
She glances at her watch. “I’ll come with. It’ll go faster.”
She follows me down the hall to Coach Hill’s office. The whole time, I’m making up my mind. Hill or Larson? Hill or Larson?Hill opens the door.
“Melody! Ms. Greene! Can I help you?”
“I need to have a quick conversation with you,” I say, squeezing my way in.
His office is crowded with all kinds of sports equipment, along with two chairs and a computer. Coach Hill is already sitting in one of the chairs, and I offer the other to Ms. Greene, which makes me feel even more like a detective about to pick the murderer out of a parlor full of suspects.
All I need is some thunder and lightning outside the French windows and maybe a slightly less embarrassing story.I take a deep breath before beginning.
“Okay, let’s do this,” I begin, summarizing the story of my admirer.
Ms. Greene raises her eyebrows. “And you didn’t report this when it happened?”
“No, I didn’t.” I look at Coach Hill, trying to gauge his reaction. He seems calm, but his fingers are tapping on the desk. Is that a nervous tick? “I also have reason to believe the incident was connected to something I, at the time, wanted to keep secret. Something Coach Hill already knows about.”
Coach Hill smiles. “Is that not a secret anymore? Can I tell you how happy I am for both of you? I think you two are great for each other.”
“I’m feeling distinctly left out of this hot goss,” Ms. Greene says.
“Right, sorry.” Still no reaction from Coach Hill. He’s playing his same old self well, if he is playing. But I still have an ace in the hole. “Do you know Jaromir Fletcher? The hockey player who’s been volunteer coaching?”
“Ooo, this is hot.”
“I’ve been dating him.” There. The secret’s out. One way or the other, it’s over.
To my surprise, it feels like a relief. I’ve been fighting so hard to keep it a secret because I thought that meant I wouldn’t have to make a decision about it. For the first time, I realize hiding it was a decision, too. And it was a decision that I never liked.
“Well, I’ll join Coach Hill in congratulating you,” Ms. Greene says. “But what does it have to do with the person who trashed your office?”
I had kind of expected a bigger reaction. But of course, this wasn’t a big deal to everyone. People’s reactions would come out slowly, not immediately. And even when they did, they would all know that it was my business, not theirs.
Except for whoever it is that trashed my office, of course.
