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“We tried,” he said. “You know we did. What’s done is done.”
“Yes, but…” I let out a shaky breath. “Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know, but I will make this right,” he vowed.
“How?” My voice cracked.
“I don’t know, but I will.” He kissed my lips, the salt from my tears mingling with the taste of whiskey. Of him. “Because I can’t imagine my life without you.”
I leaned into his touch, wishing those words—this relationship—hadn’t come at such a high price. And as I thought about the fact that Knox’s son might never speak to him again, I couldn’t help but worry. But when I tried to picture the alternative—never being with Knox—the tears fell more freely.
“Neither can I.” I sniffled, and he pulled me to his chest, holding me close.
I clung to him, as if somehow that would tether us together permanently.
I’d always wanted someone who’d put me first. Who’d make me their priority. And now that I had that, now that Knox had done that, even at the cost of his relationship with his son, I realized how mistaken I’d been.
* * *
“Did you hear anything back?”I asked Emmy, trying not to get my hopes up.
It had been nearly two weeks since Jude had found out about Knox and me, and nothing had changed. Jude was ignoring us.No.Not just ignoring us—he’d shut us out completely. It was as if we didn’t exist.
Emmy shook her head. I returned my gaze to the pool, staring out at the water from behind my sunglasses. As soon as we’d gotten home from the yacht, I’d called Emmy and told her everything. She’d been sympathetic but not surprised.
Since then, Knox had flown to New York for a Huxley family event, along with Nate and Brooklyn. Nate hadn’t asked Emmy to attend, so she had the week off. And Knox had insisted I take a vacation as well, suggesting I invite Emmy to stay with me.
But even with Emmy here, the house felt empty. Lonely. My thoughts too loud and the silence too harsh.
While I was grateful not to have to face anyone at work—even though they were still in the dark about my relationship with Knox, it had given me too much time to think. For once, no one needed me.
Not my job.
Not the man I loved.
Not even my mom.
Mom was in remission, and she was finally feeling more like herself. She’d started working again—part time. She was still dating Joe, and they were happy. I was happy for her. She deserved to enjoy life.
But it was almost as if I didn’t know what to do with myself now that nothing was expected of me. It had made me realize that I didn’t know who I was anymore. Because for so long, I’d defined myself based on my relationships.
“It’s like the whole group shut us out,” Emmy said. “I mean, Cade even blocked me on social media. That’s harsh.”
Emmy had been trying to check on Jude through mutual friends, but they’d clearly chosen his side. I didn’t want anyone to choose sides. I didn’t want there tobesides.
“I could set up a fake profile…” she offered, kicking her feet, splashing water from her perch on the side of the pool.
I scrunched up my face. “No. We’ll figure out something.”
“What about Knox? Has he heardanythingfrom Jude?” she asked.
“No,” I said flatly, watching a hummingbird as it flitted between some flowers. “Well, apart from Jude texting back to fuck off.”
“Right. But that was nearly two weeks ago.” She lifted her sunglasses so they were resting on top of her head. “So, what do the Leatherbacks think is going on?”
“Jude has been responding to emails, but he hasn’t come into the office. Knox told everyone Jude was working remotely.”
She shook her head. “He’s lucky he has a job that will allow him to do that.”
