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“I…” Spots danced before my eyes. His words stung, but they weren’t undeserved. “I can’t. I love her.”
He had to understand that. He might not accept it, but we couldn’t move forward unless he at least acknowledged it.
His shoulders slumped, and I caught him before he sagged to the floor. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?” I asked, getting us settled on the floor.
“I can’t live with all this anger.” He scrunched up his face. “It’s eating me up inside.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry I did this to you. To us. I’ve been worried sick about you these past few weeks.”
He curled into a ball, wrapping his arms around his knees. “I don’t want to continue like this.”
Neither did I. But until Jude accepted my relationship with Kendall, I was afraid we were at an impasse.
“Then what do you suggest?” I asked.
“That’s the problem.” He seemed to curl even tighter into himself. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to step down from the team?”
“No.” He relaxed some.
“Do you want to continue to work remotely?” I asked, even though I hoped the answer was no.
He shook his head. “I love my job. I love the team. And I—” He hesitated then said, “Loved working with you.”
I noticed it was in the past tense. I tried not to worry about what that meant for the future.
“What if we take baby steps?” I offered. “You could come back to the office when you’re ready. Ease back into things.”
“I’d still have to see her every day. And I was an ass.”
“Kendall has a big heart, and I hope the two of you will smooth things over. In the meantime, Kendall can work remotely. That’s not a problem.” In fact, she preferred telework.
“Right, but I can’t avoid her forever. Especially not if you’re going to continue seeing her.” This was good. Progress.
“True, but we can give you time and space to get used to the idea of us.”
“Not sure I’ll ever get used to the idea,” he muttered. “But I want to try.”
“I have to ask,” I said, not wanting to break the fragile trust we’d rebuilt but needing to know. “What changed your mind?”
“Honestly?” he asked, and I nodded. “When you said you’d give up the team, I knew…” He blew out a breath. “I finally understood how serious you were about her. And it made me realize that I’ve never felt that way about anyone. Not truly.”
I kept listening, grateful we were talking again. Relieved to have my son back in my life.
“I thought I loved Kendall, but if you’d asked me to give up the Leatherbacks…” He chuckled. “I wouldn’t have done it. Not even for her.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “Truly.”
He met my eyes, and for the first time since that night on the yacht, I felt as if I could breathe fully again. “I know, Dad. I do.”
I smiled in relief and gratitude. He’d called me “Dad.” That was sweeter than any victory on the field.
I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. “I love you, son.”
And in that moment, I was confident we’d get through this. Though our relationship might not be the same as before, we could build something new and different.
