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“I know.” He hung his head, remorse written across his handsome features. “I know.”
“That was too close,” I said.
He guided me over to the chair. He sank down in it and pulled me onto his lap. “Agreed.”
“You told him you’re seeing someone?” I asked, still trying to piece it all together. I’d been so anxious at breakfast that I’d been concentrating on acting normal and not puking.
But then I remembered that morning in the hospital. Jude had come to visit my mom when she had mono, and he’d mentioned finding a discarded condom wrapper in his dad’s office.
“He kept pushing. He wanted to know why I left the game early.”
I rolled my lips between my teeth. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
He took my hand in his and placed them over his heart. His blue eyes were filled with endless love and devotion. “There was nowhere else I’d rather be.”
I closed my eyes, the tears falling again.
“Mi cielo.”He cupped my cheeks.“Tears again?”
“I’m scared.”
“About what’s going to happen with Jude?”
I nodded. “And about the future.”
“What about the future?” he asked. “Do you have concerns about us? Is that why you’re hesitant to tell Jude?”
“No. No.” I smoothed my palm down his chest. “It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”
He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand as those blue eyes stared intently at me. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve just—” I huffed. “I’ve never let someone in. Not truly. Not until you.”
His smile was warm and reassuring. And it reminded me of all the reasons I loved him. If Knox was so sure about his faith in us that he was willing to risk his relationship with his son, then I could be brave enough to push past my own fears.
He gave my hand a comforting squeeze. “That doesn’t sound like such a bad thing.”
“It isn’t. And…it is. Because it’s scary to love someone as much as I do you. To know that you’ve given them your heart, and they could destroy you.”
“Kendall.” He leaned his forehead to mine. “I would never hurt you.”
“I know that,” I said. “I do. But I have a hard time picturing the future.”
“With me or generally?” he asked.
“Mostly in general,” I said. “I typically won’t even let myself try to imagine it, for fear of being disappointed.”
He frowned. “That makes me sad,mi cielo.”
“I’m not trying to make you sad,” I said. “I’m trying to be honest. In past relationships, I never let myself get invested enough to even try imagining a future together. But with you…” I cupped his cheek. “For the first time. I want to.”
“I’m honored.” He brought my hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “And it makes me indescribably happy that you’re thinking about our future together.”
I sensed hesitation on his part. “But…?”
He rubbed a hand over his mouth. “I didn’t want to bring this up, but there’s something you should know.”
“Okay,” I said, dragging out the word. My stomach was filled with nerves.
